This pours deep black (is "Blackened" by Metallica stuck in your head yet??? Why not?! Go get your copy of "...And Justice For All" cued up and press play already!) with a moderate khaki-colored head. The nose is mostly coffee and chocolate, with an overall very mild aroma for such a big beer. I couldn't wait any longer... I just had to try a sip. Oh holy hell, this is amazing. It's a veritable roller coaster on my tongue of everything good in a stout, and yet it's so different from anything else I've had, just because it seems a bit out of order... but I like that. It starts off with espresso, then it gets boozy, with almost a bourbon flavor and some dark stone fruit in the middle, and then some very silky chocolate flavors come in, then the espresso sneaks back in just to remind you it's an espresso stout. And somewhere toward the end, I get the faintest hint of vanilla. Just to kick you in the dick. Just a little. It's a little chewy in the mouth after starting off silky smooth, but nothing offensive. I mean, it's a Russian Imperial Stout; I expect a little chewiness.
Stone has continued to impress me... I have yet to have a beer that I'm not thoroughly impressed with. Hence the fangirl. They're sneaking up on my list. It's funny, after we obtained this, Nathan and I got into a heavy discussion of beer economics. Their bombers are 22 ounces and usually $8.99. For some reason, we agree that's a lot easier to stomach than buying a six-pack at $11.99. Even though you're getting more bang for your beer buck when you buy by the six-pack. And I'd like to thank Stone for keeping it reasonable for the bombers, especially... they are a little more expensive than most breweries for their six-packs (by about a dollar), but that's doable. And their bombers are even more fairly priced. It kills me to see a good beer for $20 and up for a bomber. I understand the rare releases that cost a little more, but there is also supply and demand, and I'm a cost-conscious beer geek/fangirl. End rant.
See you soon, Greg.
5/5 caps
-Signed, your fastest-growing fangirl. Um, I mean Jennie.
Hey fangirl, you're not cost-conscious, as you're spending my ill-gotten money. Piss off with your last sip our of the bottle. All I have to say to you is Kia Soul ad. It's in your head now, and the only way to get it out is a hollow-point at point blank range. No, I'm not bitter at all that you took the last sip out of the bottle, no, no it's fine. I'll sit over there in the chair and drink Stroh's while you're taunting me and drinking good beer. No, it's fine. I guess I'll just have to summon the powers of Hopsus to smite thee. Alright, Great Smiter, get to smiting her!.... hmmm... Nothing's happening. I think Hopsus is busy, and Cthulhu is usually busy on Monday nights.... Oh well, I guess I'll put on my big boy panties (nothing but banana hammocks for nights like this) and review some beer.
This is made out of Unobtainium. We were lucky enough to score 2 bottles of this (other is a gift for our good friend), but yet, I still feel an indescribable guilt that I screwed someone out of this by getting 2 bottles. But then I think, oh yeah, I have beer, and I tuck all that guilt down and drink until I have no feelings.
This pours a dark black, completely void of light, much like what will happen to Jennie when Cthulhu and Hopsus reign terror upon her. There is a khaki colored head, much like the khakis I will wear to the Hopsus Altar tomorrow to praise him and make Simcoe rain on the Midwest.
Now, before I delve further into this investigative report into the world of craft beer taste testing, I will note that this has had time to warm up while I was sulking and plotting my own vendetta against my female counter part (it'll probably be something like a lame 'that's what she said' sort of joke, and I'll be fine). So, after having time to warm up, the nose on this is... sexy... It's coffee, chocolate, some roasted malt tones and some hints of vanilla and booziness. Now, finally, after Jennie crushed my entire existence by taking the last sip out of the bottle, I get to enjoy the flavor that I've built myself up to. Oh... Oh my... This is what Leonardo da Vinci was thinking about when he painted the Mona Lisa (well, I don't know if that's true, but I'll just assume it is). This is good. Espresso, chocolate, roasted malts, ending on espresso. I'm assuming this has lost the boozy flavor that White Devil picked up, as this has warmed up. This is smooth drinking, a shit-ton less in the richness department compared to the Plead the 5th we just reviewed. This has the mouthfeel like a cup of coffee with cream. That slight bitterness of the coffee puckering your mouth a bit, but yet, leaving a pleasant, otherwise orgasmic sensation of that 'I gotta do shit today' feeling of every morning. This is that sweet release we all look for. Why isn't this flowing out of the water fountain at work?!?!?! Come on, my company had $2.4 billion in sales worldwide last year, I think we can replace the shitty Columbus tap water with something epic like this that will improve worker moral and bring an overall sense of pride to everyone.
I seem to be getting a little distracted by dreaming about this flowing out of a water fountain.... Hmm.. Brilliant idea though. I have to figure a way to utilize this in real life, and not just in my perfect fantasy world where Jennie doesn't take the last sip out of the bottle.
5/5 caps
-Nathan-
No comments:
Post a Comment