The Alchemist Heady Topper

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Call me Ishmael. I dare you. We are back with a vengeance, and oh, how we have missed you! If one is to make a comeback after a two-month absence, one might as well go big or go home. It doesn't get much bigger than this, right? Tonight we bring you the esteemed, the highly sought, the deservedly highly rated Heady Topper from the Alchemist in Vermont. This beer has been called the best beer in the world. The world!

If you aren't familiar with Heady Topper, it is a double IPA made in Waterbury, Vermont. Currently The Alchemist is undergoing an expansion, so this beer is even harder than normal to obtain. It is distributed according to a very strict release schedule in Vermont only, and most places sell out of Heady within hours. No, we haven't been to Vermont lately. A pilot friend picked some up on a recent trip there and was kind enough to share it with me. It comes in a 16-ounce can, and you are encouraged to drink it straight from the can, which I fully intend to do. I did pour a little out for photographic purposes, just for you and well, because its color is utterly gorgeous.

We have talked about it long enough. I need this in my life right now, so let's just get to it. The color of this is the most beautiful pale color I have seen in a DIPA. It pours a beautiful pale orange with a little chill haze when you pour it straight from the fridge. As mine has warmed while typing this so far, it has developed into a gorgeous pale straw color that is pretty translucent. If I didn't know what I was about to drink, I would guess a pilsner (and oh, how delightfully wrong I would be!). Confession: this isn't my first Heady Topper. Oops. Sorry. There was a finger or so of fluffy white head atop this as I poured a bit, but it dissipated immediately. The aroma on this is amazing (OK, that's another reason I poured a little bit into a glass, so that I could get a better idea of the aroma). Mango, papaya, passionfruit, grapefruit, a hint of pine all waft past my nose and lure said schnozz into the beer. I've licked worse things off my nose. Taking a sip, each of those are present in the taste, along with a lovely light cracker note that serves as a reminder that this is no session IPA. This is a wonderfully complex IPA, with each sip delivering a different layer of delight. The exotic fruits, the citrus, the pine, the utter deliciousness all come in waves across the tongue. There is very little, if any, perceived bitterness, not at all what many averse to IPAs would expect. It's also not overly sweet, like so many DIPAs tend to be. The body on this is perfectly balanced, not too heavy, not too light. This tastes like superior craftsmanship in every sip. This might be the best DIPA I have ever had.

When we first had the opportunity to have this, we put it next to Fat Head's Hop Juju and Bell's Hopslam, my favorite beer. Heady Topper was head and shoulders above both. We recently brewed a DIPA for a competition, and I shot the moon on it. I wanted it to be better than Pliny the Elder or Heady. I think it's better than Pliny, and we will see how it stands up to Heady. I don't expect it to be quite as good as Heady, but we will see.

5/5 caps

-Jennie

As Jennie eloquently said, WE'RE BACK BABY! To let you loyal readers know what has been happening, well, Porn Maker 5000 (former computer) totally shit on us. We've been looking for a computer that screams out to us, but nothing has yet. We're temporarily borrowing our neighbors' XP-based computer, trying not to use it too much (only things we've downloaded have been 3-4 pictures, OpenOffice and Google Chrome browser). Not our computer, not ours to put 4 ½ months of music on. Countless hours of work and homebrewing has consumed our time.

Enough about us, you don't care about our banter. You care about the beer and what our opinions are on it.

I pulled this out of the fridge about 10 minutes ago to let it warm up. I, too, am going to drink straight from the can on this. I'm also doing a palate cleanser of Burger after an IPA, a hoppy red ale and dinner of corned beef.

Why drink from the can? Well, the giant letters at the top of the can tell you to. What else does the can tell you?

“Heady Topper is an American Double India Pale Ale. This beer is not intended to be the biggest or most bitter. It is meant to give you wave after wave of hoppy goodness on your palate. Tremendous amounts of American hops will creep up on you, and leave you with a dense hoppy finish in your mouth.

So drinkable, it's scary.

Sometimes I wish I could crawl right into the can. Freshness and control have always been my main concern when it comes to our beer. We are committed to providing you with an unfiltered and unpasteurized hop experience.

Why do I recommend that you drink it from the can?

Quite simply, to ensure a delightful, hop experience. The act of pouring it in a glass smells nice, but it releases the essential hop aromas that we have worked so hard to retain. If you MUST pour it into a glass, you may find that some of the hop resins have settled to the bottom- leave them in the can while pouring. This beer is perishable, and at its best when it is young, fresh and hazy.

Keep it cold, but not ice cold.

Drink this beer immediately, we are always making more.

John Kimmich

The Alchemist

Waterbury, Vermont

DON'T BE A D-BAG, RECYCLE THIS CAN!”

Yes. I enjoy reading the text on bottles and cans. I picked up this habit from the delightfully humorous text on the labels of Flying Dog (but if I delve deep into my psyche, it probably stems from reading the 'flavor text' at the bottom of Magic: The Gathering cards. Yes, I enjoyed the game, don't judge).

Ok, that killed time and allowed this to warm up. As I crack it open, I'm entranced by citrus, tropical fruit, and faint hints of pine in my olfactory senses while my auditory senses are being blasted by Frank Turner's “I Am Disappeared” through the ear buds. We are electric pulses, yes indeed, Frank, but right now, my nose feels like it was just plugged into a light socket. The enjoyable onslaught of hop aroma makes me forget all of life's worries. WHY IS THERE NOT A CANDLE THAT SMELLS LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!

As this gently slides down my throat (HA! That's what she said), the hop oils start taking a stranglehold on my tongue, pummeling it with a fantastic array of tropical fruit (mango, passionfruit, faint lychee), grapefruit and a tinge of pine. This isn't bitter in the least, no, my friend; just fantastic flavors blasting your taste buds and coating your tongue in a awesome resin. The resin leaves a slight stickiness, reminding you your tongue was just Hiroshima'd with hops. The alcohol of 8% really isn't noticed while sipping on this delectable brew. Holy Hopsus. This is fan-fucking-tastic.

5/5 caps

-Nathan-

Food pairing: Corned beef (biff as my dude J-Doles calls it). And cabbage, bitches. Because we're Irish-American and Jennie can't wait until Tuesday.

Music pairing: Cherubs singing

Cheese pairing: Mango habanero cheddar