Behind the Brew Day: Big Boots Brew 2017

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Every year, Pink Boots Society members come together to brew a beer to promote the education and furthering of women in the brewing industry. Last year, I was honored to be invited to help with the brew. Lineage Brewing hosted the 2016 brew day, and we brewed Mother of Summer, a delicious wheat beer with lemon peel, coriander, and black peppercorns. The brew day was a blast, and I learned a lot, both brewing in a brewery that I was not familiar with as well as learning from several local kickass women who are leading the craft beer revolution in central Ohio. Imagine my surprise when, back in early February, the emails started flying and I was once again invited to participate despite my then-unemployment. This year, Weasel Boy was hosting the brew day, and several other breweries and industry professionals were also invited to participate.

Pink Boots Society, as I mentioned above, is an organization dedicated to the education and empowerment of women who work in the brewing industry. The organization is about to celebrate its 10th anniversary in June, a pretty amazing accomplishment, if you ask me. Teri Fahrendorf founded Pink Boots Society and has engaged several other women who I admire to help their fellow brewsters. Every year, around March 8, International Women's Day, those of us who are local to one another get together to collaborate on a beer whose proceeds goes back to Pink Boots Society. This brew day is called Big Boots Brew, and Pink Boots will suggest a style as a base guideline, although it is by no means a requirement to brew that particular beer. This year, the style suggestion was Historic Ales (a broad category, for certain). We women in central Ohio decided to brew a grisette with local pawpaw fruit and spicebush berries. I'll delve more into what we brewed below.

This year March 8 happened to fall on a Wednesday. I awoke that morning extra early in order to drop off my child to school and head out to Zanesville, not quite an hour east of Columbus. If you aren't familiar with how collaboration brews work, the hosting brewery not only hosts brew day, but they also decide the beer to be brewed (while everyone contributes a bit to the recipe) and accommodate the fellow brewers and have to fit it into their brew and fermentation schedule amid the other beers they produce, as well as organize a release party. It is not a small feat. This year, in addition to the women of Weasel Boy and Lineage, women from Seventh Son and the head of the Ohio Craft Brewers Association agreed to participate. We had a stellar all-star cast to brew this year's beer. Have I mentioned how fortunate I am to be included in this? Oh, and by "women of Weasel Boy" I mean the incomparable Lori Wince. I'm a fangirl with no shame. Lori started Weasel Boy with her husband Jay nearly 10 years ago (their decade anniversary party is coming up in July, so make plans now to get your ass out there), effectively making her the grand dame of central Ohio breweries. She knows her shit, and she's one of the nicest people you will ever meet (although she's also tough as nails, so I wouldn't want to disappoint her. It would feel worse than disappointing your parents). 

Lori Wince of Weasel Boy and Mary MacDonald of Ohio Craft Brewers Association tending to the wort grant.

Brew day had started at 8:00am. I was unable to make it out there until much later that morning. When I got there, we were in the middle of the mash. Lori came right up to me and told me, "I have a job for you," and set me to helping monitor mash temp. Little did she realize that there is my weakness. I screw it up on pretty much every all-grain brew I do, somehow. Figure in that I'm on an unfamiliar system, and disaster seems certain. As the temperature crept toward 170, I got nervous. She had quickly shown me the hot and cold water valves, and I set into a staring match with the thermometer on the wall. We were hanging around a healthy range of 165-170. She ducked off to conduct some interviews, as there were a few media crews on hand. I stared at the thermometer. It stared back. Watching paint dry or grass grow seemed to be an interesting alternative. And then the temperature started to drop. I panicked, and Lori was talking to media people. I tossed a frantic look to Jess Byrne (of Lineage), who was monitoring the wort grant, a modified keg that recirculates the mash. Jess was also unfamiliar with the controls. "What the hell do I do?" I thought to myself as the temperature nose-dived. OK, it can't be that hard. Turn on the hot water to bring the temperature up, right? So I did just that. But then the temperature over-corrected and skyrocketed above the 170 ceiling we had discussed. So I turned on the cold water and the temperature nose-dived. This was a finicky system! Lori noticed the erratic temps a couple of times and came over to save me and the precious wort we were making. Thank goodness. 

 Mary MacDonald (OCBA) shoveling spent grain out of the mash tun

Once the mash was done (typically about an hour), we transferred it to the boil kettle. I also got to monitor that process. The fact that I was still allowed anywhere near the brew deck surprised the crap out of me, so I took this very seriously. Once the wort had been moved from the mash tun to the boil kettle, we broke for lunch. Pizzas and salads were offered. If you haven't had Weasel Boy's pizza, do yourself a favor and drive out to Zanesville for a couple of pints and a delicious pie. You won't be disappointed.

Liz Stout and Caitlin Davis, both of Seventh Son, cleaning out the mash tun.

After lunch, the wort approached a boil, and Nichole Endicott (then with Lineage, she announced her departure for BrewDog a week or so later) and Lori added the hops to the wort. A typical brew day fully within my comfort zone filled the rest of the afternoon: we hopped, we transferred, we cleaned, we loaded spent grain into a farmer's truck, we shot the breeze about everything under the sun. 

Nichole Endicott (Lineage) and Lori Wince (Weasel Boy) add the hops.

So, what was the beer that we produced, despite my apparent intentions to completely screw up this beer? Lori wanted to brew a grisette with locally sourced ingredients. Pawpaw and spicebush berries were added later to the beer, after fermentation was complete. A wheat malt from Haus Malts in Cleveland was procured. If you aren't familiar with a grisette, it's basically a table saison. Table meaning that it's rather sessionable, around 5% ABV or less. Saisons are a popular style currently. Most are rather light in color, and they can run the gamut from having all sorts of clove/banana/bubblegum flavors to being very neutral and almost champagne-like. They typically finish quite dry, and my favorites are rather refreshing on a hot summer day with subtle and restrained Belgian esters and phenols. Pawpaw and spicebush are Ohio native plants. None of us in the group were really familiar with spicebush, although a bit of research before brew day indicated that it is very similar to allspice. Lori had taken some of her blonde ale (a rather neutral beer) and had dosed it with a spicebush berry tincture so that we could all get an idea of the flavor. My palate detected that it was, indeed, very reminiscent of allspice berries. 

 Jess Byrne (Lineage), Jessica Page (Lineage), and Mary MacDonald (OCBA) share a laugh toward the end of brew day.

We also made plans that day for release parties, although without knowing precisely when the beer would be finished, final plans could not be made on brew day. Everyone departed as the taproom opened. Lori kept us all apprised as to the progress of fermentation throughout the process. She pureed and added the pawpaw once primary fermentation was complete, and added the spicebush berries to the brite tank, right before kegging the beer. 

      Nichole Endicott (then of Lineage, now with BrewDog) cleans the boil kettle at the end of brew day. 

One reason that I always really enjoy this brew day is because it's challenging to me. Thus far we have brewed beers that are outside my typical repertoire. I've only brewed one other wheat beer, and one saison. In fact, before this year's beer was released, I had only had a grisette one other time. And that grisette was completely different from the one that we brewed. I admire every woman in this brew crew, and every one of us brings a different skill set to the table. The camaraderie is also evident whenever we gather. 

 Nevertheless Persist, enjoyed on Weasel Boy's patio overlooking the Muskingum River

In mid-April, the beer was released. Mary MacDonald had suggested that we name it Nevertheless Persist and we all fell in love with the name. Lineage held their party first, and the following night several of us went out to Weasel Boy for the release party there. The final party was held at Seventh Son the following week, although Liz was busy working in the brewhouse throughout the party. 

Jess Byrne (Lineage) and Lori Wince (Weasel Boy) look on during the Nevertheless Resist release party at Lineage.

So, how was the beer, you ask? In a word, delicious. It ended up at 5.6% ABV. Hmm, maybe my messing up the mash temp worked in my favor, although Lori wanted it to end up below 5%. As you can see in the picture above, it was a lovely golden color with a fair amount of haze and cloudiness. There were plenty of esters and phenols, both from the yeast as well as from the pawpaw and spicebush berries. The pawpaw softened the beer a bit and lent its own unique flavor to the beer. The spicebush added so much interest, it was a really thoughtful addition, and I want to use it in another beer. This style and these ingredients are so outside my comfort zone, but I really enjoyed the finished product. Another thing that we all noted was how much the beer changed as it warmed. I preferred it, as I do most of my beers, a little warmer. The banana, bubblegum, and clove notes that were there became less harsh and mellowed out as the beer warmed up. The pawpaw and spicebush berries came to the forefront. Great mouthfeel and moderate carbonation made it tickle the tongue.

Jessica Page (Lineage) gets ready to transfer the beer to the fermenter. 

If you are worried that you may have missed out on this beer, it is still on tap at a few places around central Ohio. There is a little bit left in the taproom at Weasel Boy, and the following places still have a keg of it: 

• Barrel and Bottle in the North Market
• Prost in Reynoldsburg
• Westend Ciderhouse in Athens
• World of Beer at Easton  

So go get yourself a glass of it while you still can, before it is gone! 

-Jennie
 

Welcome Back

Welcome back, you strange weirdos. We took a little leave of absence, but we haven't forgotten about you. I'm sure you've been wondering what happened to us; if we died, if we stopped drinking, if we lost our passion for beer. I assure you, none of this is true. We're still alive and still loving beer more than life. Beer is life.

So, what have we been up to?

We both started helping out at a local brewery and that consumed a lot of our time. We also moved from a shit-hole apartment into a house down the street from my best friend.

So, let's give you a little more in-depth of what we did on our little break from this.

We worked beer festivals. Legit, a ton of beer festivals. We attended one more recently as general public, and it felt weird.


The first Winter Beer Fest we worked was the first big festival the brewery was at. We were the newcomers and were received with hesitation by the general public. We won them over with our beer and shenanigans. There was one point of the night where I started making people sing for their beer.  Jennie had shorter hair and gave a guy 'you're pissing me off' face.

We developed a beer.
 A 5% session IPA with lemongrass and chamomile. We had taken 2nd place in a local home brew competition the year before with it. Seeing our little baby brewed professionally is something else. Our recipe was tweaked a little, to give it more body, but still true to the original. It's funny, because the brewery is known for it's big, pushing Ohio legal limits at the times beer, then we had this 5% at the Grandview Summer Session festival. It ended up being 4.1/5 on Beer Advocate and 3.9/5 on Untappd, which I'm good with for something experimental.

 (Picture is from an article on the Pat's Pints blog)


We were part of history.
The first Six One Pour event (showcasing Columbus, Ohio breweries during Columbus Beer Week) has 2 different surprises. Collaboration brews with different breweries in town and a "largest tap handle" competition. We won the competition, but Guinness records failed to recognize the category, those bastards. It was a son of a bitch to pour from and the section you're looking at was only a third of the completed tap handle (roughly 30 feet tall, but for safety of the packed venue, we only poured with the one section). It's not a dick, it's a tap handle.

 (photos from Twitter)

Jennie Brewed a Beer!
As part of International Women's Day, last year the amazing ladies from Lineage, Weasel Boy and Jennie brewed a wheat beer with spices and lemon peel. Here is a poster from it:

We met a brewing icon
Our adventures took us to a beer festival in Cleveland, the first time the brewery had been out of Central Ohio. While we were working it, I was involved in a conversation with a young home brewer who wants to make full flavored, lower ABV beers. I told him that Pete Slosberg, founder of the iconic Pete's Wicked Ale, was doing something similar. No less than 15 minutes later, Jennie was having a conversation with a gentleman about meeting brewing icons and not realizing it. He said he had met Ken Grossman and it didn't click with him at the moment. He had a sampling of the beer and went about his way. Right afterward is when it clicked, that was fucking Pete Slosberg. He was up in the area doing a collaboration beer with Hoppin' Frog, a 10% version of his original Pete's Wicked Brown Ale. There will be a beer review on the Wicked Re-Pete as well as an interview with Pete Slosberg upcoming.

I met another brewing icon
Greg Koch, some dude from a tiny brewery (maybe you've heard of them- Stone Brewing? Something like that at least) was in Columbus to release the Pataskala Red IPA, a beer where the proceeds went to help save the music program at the high school he went to years before. He was pretty cool. Jennie unfortunately wasn't able to make it, as she was working the tap room.

We were part of the brewery's expansion
This work is no joke. When you're already pulling 60+ hours a week and you keep looking at how much work is left to do, it seems like an never ending uphill battle. You persist, you power through.

We met Frank Turner.
You remember that music guy we interviewed a couple years ago? Yeah? He remembered that too. That's right, our musical favorite happened to be playing a small gig here in Columbus (the CD102.5 Big Room), Jennie happened to be lucky enough to win tickets. We happened to get an awesome picture with him afterward.

 (Photo from CD102.5's website)

Jennie Brewed Another Beer!
Once again, Jennie teamed with awesome ladies; this time from Lineage, Weasel Boy and Seventh Son. This year was a grissette, a style we're not too familiar with. There will be an upcoming post about this. Here is the poster from that release:

So that's what we've we've been up to. What the fuck have you been up to? We'd like to hear from you. Reach out to us on Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Instagram. You can also follow us on Untappd with our names of @jenniek and @guitaristshad.

We have big plans upcoming, so stay tuned.

As always,
-Nathan and Jennie- 

Updated Beer Fest Drinking Game

Please follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Instagram. You can also follow us on Untappd with our names of @jenniek and @guitaristshad.

Another year, another season of Beer Festivals. We decided to update our list after the announcement that Columbus's Hullabaloo Festival is dead.  I was able to attend the last Hullabaloo, It was one of the better beer festivals in town, sad to see it go because of whiny cunts who don't represent the consumer market as a whole.

This is the first post in our rejuvenated Behind the Tap. We'll post a mission status (it'll be less beer reviews and more in depth with the brewing industry). There's the mission status). We start with a perennial favorite of ours. We turned this into a bingo game at the Six One Pour event last May (we passed out bingo squares with different 'people' to brewers and volunteers. All seemed to have fun with it. If you want to do a Bingo style, there are plenty of free generators, help yourself). So without any further ado, while listening to David Bowie, we bring you our updated Beer Fest Drinking Game. To paraphrase Zeppelin, The style is new, but the face is the same.

Beer Festival Season is upon us.

After attending a few beer festivals (be it the annual major megafest in your state or the limited release whale party or the little local suburban tinyfest), you start to notice different types of people that are always there. Print this list and take it with you to the next big event. If you collect them all, consider yourself a seasoned veteran of the beer festival circuit (and drink an entire pint). Just don't hate us in the morning.


1) Goofy-ass Hat Guy

Now, while it's fashionable to wear a hat, most festival-goers stick to ball caps or military style. But not this guy. He's proudly rocking his cowboy/outback/fedora/insert hat as if the beer festival was Coachella. Your friend, who looks like a lawyer, has a personal grudge against this guy, mocking his hat endlessly to where he wouldn't stop to help him with a broken down vehicle. Drink one if you spot This Guy. Drink two if he's rocking assless chaps to go along with the hat.

2) The Bored Girl/Boyfriend

S/he has no interest in his beer geek lifestyle. S/he can't stand the smell or taste of beer. S/he's here because his/her friends bailed on him/her (Thanks, Becky/Brody). You'll be able to point out this person in an instant- S/he looks bored and is constantly on their favorite social media site instead of taking in the sights, sounds, and tastes that the partner is loving every minute of. Drink one for each Bored Boy/Girlfriend you spot. Give them a 5 ounce sample if they fake an interest in what the partner-in-crime is saying and drink one with them.

3) The Mustachioed Menace

Also known as the Bearded Douche. One look at this guy and you are guessing he's the head brewer at the newest local nanobrewery in town, even though he has never put malt and hops together before. He's proud of his facial fur. Spends most of the evening at the mustache wax booth, with the occasional foray out to refresh his 5-ounce sample glass. He spends more time shaping and sculpting his 'stache than a teen spends getting ready for prom. And just like that teen, he's pretty sure his pristine facial pubes are getting getting him laid tonight. Well done on sharing info about which brand of mustache wax used to EVERY booth. Make him use two festival tickets to buy you a drink if you spot this guy in all his mustache wax glory.

4) The Dick

He's the person who bitches about everything at the festival. The speakers aren't right, the food isn't good enough, the beer isn't exclusive enough. In an exceptionally douchey moment, he might threaten physical harm to the festival organizers who are doing this for the love of beer instead of money. This is the kind of fuck weasel that ruins great things. This ass hat doesn't respect anyone else and will try his best to ruin your experience. If you can get away with it, catch him with an elbow, making it look accidental, avoid festival security, then drink until you can't hear his fucking idiotic voice droning on. DO NOT BE THIS GUY!!!!

5) The Enthusiastic Volunteer

They love having the chance to connect with the beer scene with an event like this. They usually know a brewer or two and do this for fun. They can hype up the beer as much as the brewmaster could. While sampling many beers at the event, they will hype up the booth where they're assigned. They like to have fun, you'll have fun with them. Drink with them. (Side note: certain states, including Ohio, restrict brewery workers from serving their own beer at festivals, so volunteers are critical to libation happiness. Don't EVER be #4 to them).

6) The "Type" Drinker

You know them. "I only drink IPAs, he only drinks dark beers." They both give you condescending looks when you describe a hoppy strong ale that drinks like an IPA despite being a dark color, appealing to both. There is no pleasing these bastards, by the way. The IPA you're pouring/drinking will never measure up to King Julius (which they've never had) and the dark beer isn't as good as Guinness. Drink two if you get them to try something out of their comfort zone.

7) The Know-It-All

There's no point in describing a beer to them, they already know everything about it. They haven't done research, they just know. They'll sometimes correct you on the ingredients and flavors they give off, no matter how wrong they are. You: "This is continuously hopped with Citra which gives it..." Them (interrupting): "No, actually. This is Hallertau-Mittelfruh, which is grown exclusively in the summer in the mountainous region in New Los Angeles, New Zealand. I can taste it."... Sigh...  Drink until you forget the conversation you had with this infuriating idiot.

8) The "Brewpie"

A groupie of brewers. She came to the festival alone, but her hopes are not leaving alone. There are around 20-60 breweries at the event, each one having brewers and reps working.  Odds look good for her. She has done the research; she knows who the brewmaster is at each brewery, and she knows whether or not he is single. Most likely not wearing panties, she skips over any brewery owned or operated by a woman or corporation. She'll put on the charm, she'll bat her eyelashes, she'll give a little wiggle. She knows what she's doing, it's not her first time at the rodeo (unlike "Cowboy Hat Guy"). If you are work at a brewery, wrap it twice and run far and fast. If not, buy her a drink and tell her you work at a brewery. Or at least help her into her Uber car.

9) The Talker

They liked your beer. They were told by their friend that they need to try the beer. They were hesitant at first, as it's not normally a style they like, but their friend hasn't steered them wrong yet, and by golly, their friend was right again. They tell your their life story while holding up a line of thirsty people behind them. Drink until they stop talking.






10) The Beer Lover

This person appreciates all beer. They aren't a crude, arrogant type, not at all. They appreciate what the brewer took time to accomplish. These are people who give honest feedback, whether it's "this isn't for me" or "this is the best beer I've had tonight." They are the heart and soul of why brewers do this. You'd get too drunk seeing these people, so give them a cheers and thank them. Take a sip instead of a whole drink.





11) The Ill-Prepared Business Guy

He drinks macro light beer, but read about this event in the paper. He doesn't know a wit from a weizenbock. This guy is completely out of his element. You try and guide him toward beers he might enjoy, but he's lost, like a baby at a strip club. Try and expand his horizons, have him loosen his tie and enjoy life. Drink your favorite at the festival with him. Remind him that life's too short to drink shitty beer.

12) The Good Times Guy

Usually mid-to-late 40's, he's shit faced and doesn't care who he bumps into. He'll try and dance with them. He'll be first in the karaoke lineup, just after he has had one too many and he's going to butcher "Sweet Home Alabama"  or that Three Non-Blondes song... You know the 'hey hey hey hey' song. Fuck it, it's a festival, right? He'll try and get selfies with any attractive lady. Hell, by closing time, they don't even have to be attractive. His Hawaiian shirt lets you know he IS the life of the party. Often spotted with the Wayne to his Garth. Party on, bruh. Run as far away as possible as quickly as you can and give him a high-five across the venue. Then drink three because you made it out alive. Then duck and run, and drink one more for good measure.

13) Intellectual Rednecks

They're dressed like Larry The Cable Guy impersonators; overweight with cut-off flannels exposing their hairy arms, bearded, camo ball caps. They look like they don't know anything other than Natty or Busch. DO NOT LET THIS STEREOTYPE DETER YOU! These are some of the most knowledgeable and well-spoken people at the festival. Much more knowledgeable than those condescending Hipsters, who give sideways glances to these guys as if to say "What are you doing at OUR festival?" I like these guys. Drink one with these guys. Take an extra drink if they actually work at a brewery. Dump what's in your glass and drink what they're drinking.

14) The Frat Boy Type

They roam in hordes, bro. A Pride of Cock Jockeys (probably their frat house name). They aren't at the festival to appreciate good beer, no, they're there to pound brews with their bros and hit on chicks. Doesn't matter what beer, doesn't matter what chick. You'll know them from the gaggle of douchebags who are all dressed the same. Fred Durst ain't got shit on these pig fuckers. Drink one when you see them. Take an extra drink if they hit on you, take two if you are a guy.

15) The Hype Seeker


This individual only wants to seek out the hyped up breweries. 3-4 spots of the hottest, newest breweries. They get into conversation in line about what they've read about these breweries and make judgements on them before even trying them. They spend the entire time in line on beer social media reading reviews, already knowing they'll rate it at a perfect score. Looks down upon startups without the hype and dare won't touch the larger regional craft breweries. Get this guy a Bud Light. Stat.


16) The Coordinators

They made this happen. They tend to have lives outside the beer festival circuit, yet the spend tiresome months on end arranging all the details of these events. Sleepless nights and careful planning to assure you have a hell of a night. They are walking around, making sure all the breweries have ample ice and water, making sure patrons aren't too intoxicated, making sure all things are going according to plan. They may have the same shirt the volunteers do, and although volunteers are valuable, these are the hidden rare foil card in your Pokemon booster pack. These are the heroes that are forgotten. All the patrons of the event look to the breweries as their godsends when really it's the "man behind the curtain"' An endless thank you to those groups. Remind yourselves as you walk in "THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN WITHOUT THESE PEOPLE!" #4. #4. #4. If you happen to run into any event coordinator, talk to them. Thank them. Get them a beer. 

Repeat, Don't be #4. Don't be a dick, have fun. We're all there to have fun and enjoy ourselves. Don't ruin it for everyone else because you're a dick. Hopsus be with you.

Food pairing: Pretzels on a necklace
Music pairing: "Don't Stop Believing" as belted out by Good Times Guy
Cheese pairing: Nacho cheese sold at the food court

Beered-up Cranberry Sauce

We have so many reasons to give thanks this year: family, friends, the local beer community, playing with our food, etc. We hope you have full bellies and happy memories from the annual feast.

I thought I would share a recipe that I made yesterday. I'm that girl who makes up things as she goes in the kitchen, rarely following a recipe. I was making some side dishes for the feast with the family, and Nathan has an intense love for cranberry sauce. It doesn't even have to accompany turkey. He just loves cranberry sauce. When we first met and started doing the holidays together, he was happy with the gel crap that comes in a can. After this, I don't know that he will ever look back at those dark, dim days. In fact, this recipe is about as easy as opening a can.

I used Zaftig's I Believe in Santa, a Christmas ale. It's a porter with orange and vanilla and just a hint of cinnamon. I thought it would go quite well with the orange in the sauce. Southern Tier's Choklat Oranj would also do well, if you can't get a hold of the Zaftig (which is available only on draft currently). I have also used a raspberry ale in the past, but I prefer the notes that this porter lent to the sauce.

Beered-up Cranberry Sauce
12-ounce bag fresh cranberries
1/2 cup local honey
2 fresh mandarin oranges
1 cup Zaftig I Believe in Santa Christmas Ale

Rinse the cranberries and place in a medium pan over medium-low heat. Add in the honey and beer. Zest the oranges into the pan, then halve and squeeze them to juice them. Stir to combine. Simmer until the cranberries pop and it turns into a sauce-like consistency, stirring occasionally, about 20 minutes.

I think this would be a fantastic, festive addition to a wheel of baked Brie cheese. The tartness of the sauce would go fantastically with the creaminess of the Brie. It just may appear on my tailgate table tomorrow.

Behind the Tap Presents: Battle of the Beers Vol. 1 Columbus Hoppy Wheats

Please follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Instagram. You can also follow us on Untappd with our names of @jenniek and @guitaristshad.

So, this is only our 10th blog post this year. This is very uncharacteristic of us. Yikes. Well, truth be told, life gets in the way of things. I hope we can remember how to properly do this. Jesus, it's been over 2 months since our last post. We hope you loyal readers haven't forgotten about us.

In this (hopefully) continuing saga, we will put two similar beers in a match up against one another. We'll pick them apart in our typical review (read: unstructured banter).

For this first one, we've picked Sideswipe's Pixelated Sun and Zaftig's Hoot-spa Wheat.

Zaftig is a small brewery in Worthington, Ohio that focuses on big beers. We're reviewed one of their beers before (ZBS if you want to backtrack on our reviews). Their facility is based in an industrial complex with a garage feel to it (there are 3 in Columbus I know of like this; Zaftig, Sideswipe, and Actual). 

Sideswipe is a small brewery that's not far from the Grandview circuit. We planned on reviewing their Elegant Hoodlum smoked stout, but ended up drinking it. Twice... oops. Their facility seems like a mirror image of Zaftig's (Zaftig's garage door is on the left of the entry door, Sideswipe's is on the right). Also based in an industrial complex, be warned that your GPS will lie to you trying to get here (sending you past the road you need to turn on, then in a circle, then back to where you actually need to turn). Enjoy the mispronunciations the GPS gives you though (M.C. Kinley road, instead of McKinley and Ski-oat-o Harper instead of Scioto Harper (for those not from the region- it's pronounced 'sy-o-ta') and completely at a loss when it comes to Schrock). M.C. Kinley is an up-and-coming hip-hop artist in my mind.

Now, yes, we know the guys at both breweries. Craig O'Herron at Sideswipe is a hell of a guy and a hell of a brewer who started his operation with just him. A one man show of brewing, bottling, sales, and delivery. He since has a loyal crew of people who have helped him. Zaftig has a similar story, only with 3 guys who started the company. More recently, we've both been volunteering with the guys at Zaftig... yes.... This seems now like this is going to be a biased post, but believe us, it's not. We're keeping all of our personal ties out of this (we are still pretty hardcore into the local craft beer scene, which is rather supportive) in order to justly bring you our unbiased breakdown and hopefully entertaining review of the both.

Availability:

Sideswipe's Pixelated Sun is available in both 22oz bottles as well as on tap, 6% ABV. Zaftig's Hoot-spa is available on tap only at the moment (Zaftig does have bottles, but Hoot-spa is currently not in bottles), 8.5% ABV (a session beer by Zaftig's standards). If you would like to buy a keg of Hoot Spa, merely call, text, email, or respond to this post to Jennie.

Color:

Well, As you can see in the picture, the Sideswipe is a little more golden/straw in color, Zaftig is a little darker, almost a light amber. Both have great clarity and carbonation. It's funny, every time I pour a Hoot-spa in the tap room, I envision it coming out as lightly as the Pixelated Sun is from the bottle. We visited Swideswipe's taproom recently, and the keg had recently kicked, so we have not had it on tap.

Aroma:

Ok, this is where the differences start to come out.

Sideswipe Pixelated Sun: 

Citrus, tropical (Citra) almost caramel like at times. -N-

I requested that Nathan leave mine out of the fridge since he poured his a couple hours ago. What? I like my craft beer at nearly room temperature. I hope that isn't a problem for you. Most good beers should be enjoyed well above fridge temp. But anyway, let's dissect this aroma. I am picking up a ton of Citra in all its lychee and gooseberry and vague grapefruit and lemon glory. A bit of caramel sweetness comes in to play, as well as some lovely wheat characteristics. -j

Zaftig Hoot Spa:

Sweetness, a little dank with grapefruit (Amarillo). -N-

This is more sweet grapefruit, like the bruleed grapefruit my mom used to make on New Year's morning, with a little tropical, stone fruit (July's best plum?) coming through, with a note of winter wheat to make you say to yourself, "Hey self, not only have you forgotten how to type, but you are also forgetting how amazing this smells." Faint notes of my near-and-dear Triscuits appear, as if I had liquified a box and added some hops. This is a beer I can (and often do) drink all day long. And I'm not always a fan of wheat beers. This is like a familiar T-shirt that you forgot about in the back of your closet. That comforting aroma just comes in to remind me how much I enjoy this beer. -j

Flavor:

Pixelated Sun:

Lighter bodied, smooth drinking wheat with tropical tones that make you long for porch drinking or in the pool at your friend's house. The wheat isn't predominant like most wheat beers. Just faint hints in the background to remind you it's summer. The tropical and citrus notes from the hops come into play more toward the middle and back end of the sip, riding off in a juicy blast of awesome as it slides down your throat. This leaves a bit of hop resin on the tongue, like a good pale ale does, but not nearly as much an a IPA. Citra in a wheat, fuck me, why haven't I done this in a home brew?! We would have won last year's wheat beer home brew competition if we would have used Citra instead of El Dorado. Jolly Rancher flavors my ass! Eh, at least we took 4th and our proteges took 3rd  -N-

Shit, that reminds me, we are about to endure a shortage of Citra. I think that is one hop that should not be proprietary but necessary for all brew houses, be they home or professional breweries. Biased as I might be toward this particular hop, it has certainly earned its popularity with both craft beer lovers and home brew lovers alike. 

Let that be your warning. Zombie Dust is likely about to become even harder to obtain than it is currently. I don't know about you, but I have given up on that beer. If I come across some, fine, I'm certainly not going to ever hate on it. If I have to go out of my way for it, though, it's not worth it. I promise you there are better all-Citra hop bomb APAs and IPAs out there. This might not be an all-Citra American Pale Ale, but it is a Citra bomb of deliciousness. . For those of you who aren't complete hop nerds, Citra, as previously mentioned, give off big citrus, lychee, and gooseberry notes. While it's definitely a wheat beer in mouthfeel, the wheat lets the hops shine through beautifully. -j

Hoot Spa:

Medium bodied, yet smooth drinking with sweetness balancing out the hops. Toward... who created that word 'toward,' it's such a weird word... Toward the front there's a whole array of flavors happening where it's hard to pick apart. There are grapefruit, caramel, faint tropical, toffee, and other notes that i can't quite put my finger on that lead you on a flavor adventure that makes you forget you're drinking a wheat. There's some grapefruit that hits toward the back end, leaving you longing for more. This isn't your typical wheat, my friend, no. This is a god damned journey of trying to pull out long forgotten words from your vocabulary to give proper descriptive phrases to convey the flavor sanctuary that is resting upon your taste buds. -N-

Nathan described this so well that I don't know how much I have to add. I did hear one person with a very esteemed palate tell me that the only flaw he found with this was that the alcohol flavor was too predominant. My palate can't even tell that this is as, ahem, sessionable as it is at 8.5%. I really don't pick up a note of the alcohol, but then again, my palate isn't world-class. It's good, but then again, it's also ever-evolving to the point where it is starting to annoy me. But that is a topic for another day, perhaps even another blog. Anyway, go back and re-read Nathan's description again. Because that flavor journey should be yours. -j

Overall:

Breaking down two different beers and comparing them side by side makes me realize that I've done too many reviews and judging of competitions. These are both fantastic brews that you should check out. They are two different beasts among themselves. There is no clear winner in this category, just because they are each so unique. Go, venture outside of your norm an accept these great examples of hoppy wheat beers into your life. Will it help you find the answers in life? Maybe. Well, maybe not, but you'll have no regrets doing so.After all, it's just beer.  -N and j

Winner:

Go, taste both and make your own decision. You won't be wrong either way.

Pairings:

Food Pairings: Pluot tart

Cheese Pairings: Humboldt Fog. Maybe with some dried apricots on the side. And I don't even like apricots (j)

Music Pairing:  "The Next Storm" by Frank Turner (describes Ohio's stormy Summer to a T)

Falls City Hipster Repellant IPA

 

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Oh, where to begin. We just had our first get away since being together (5 1/2 years roughly). We traveled from our fair city (Columbus, Ohio) to Louisville, Kentucky for three main reasons. 1) Frank Turner was playing. 2) Meet up with a friend and enjoy some good beers. 3) Get the fuck away from everything, if only for one night. 

For those who are not familiar with Louisville, pronounce it without any vowels to get the proper dialect. "Luh-Vil" is the closest I could come to. Apparently, this city has a happening beer scene that's overlooked. Our game plan was to hit up the Frank Turner show, then hit up a bar or two. After we dropped $50 on beer at the amazing concert ($30 for a 6 pack of 12-ounce cans of PBR... Yes, PBR... Let that sink in with the beer that we're reviewing now), and time running against us for the evening, we decided to meet up with our friend at Sergio's World of Beer (first time actually meeting him in person). If you're not familiar with Louisville's roads, it was confusing as fuck to drive the 3 miles of one way streets with the occasional lane of opposite traffic, with the twists and turns, changing the names of the roads without warning. 

Sergio's is a Beer Mecca with an interesting concept. Everywhere you look in the establishment, you'll find coolers filled with nothing but craft and import beers. It was there where we first saw this. We didn't try it that night (with the whole getting lost thing, we got there about a half hour before last call).

The following day, we started the morning with Mimosas (because when the hotel room includes a bottle of champagne and breakfast, it just makes sense). After getting ready, we met up with our friend at a brewery that was roughly a mile away from the hotel. Against the Grain brewing was fun; good beer, good food. The only issue I had was the server. He was a good server, but describing the characteristics of each beer style to a guy who's wearing a brewery hat and undershirt with a "Columbus Craft Beer Week" work shirt, yeah... I know what an IPA is, just tell me what hops are showcased in it. Mosaic, cool, one of our favorites. Oh, and there he goes describing what Mosaic gives off as flavors, despite us just saying we like Mosaic... sigh... We picked up a couple beers after sampling each of the brews they had on tap. From there, we went to the Louisville Beer Store, where we stumbled across this again. We needed to purchase this then and there. As the hipsters started flowing into the store, piling in in roaming hordes like moths to a light, I felt like shaking this up and spraying it on them, yelling, before running back to the car. Hell, I was in Hunter S. Thompson's home town. I feel like it was paying homage to the man and would be a travesty if I didn't do something bat shit fucking crazy. 

Well, 17 hours out of 24 hours in Louisville involved alcohol somehow. The highway hypnosis back to Ohio was something out of a god damned comic book. Headlight reflections from the mirror manifesting themselves into beings in the back seat, reminding you of the things you see on Facebook about the latest scam people are pulling in parking garages. Rain drops catching light from taillights, making you wonder if the trip back to Ohio was filled with the same brake-checking fun that was had on the way down to Louisville. 

I am off topic. Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered on this blog to read about beer. I fell in love with the name of this. Hipster Repellant. Fucking hipsters. Fucking knit hat wearing bastards. "Oh, have you heard (insert most-likely made up band name here)? Oh, I'm sure you haven't. I listened to them up until they sold out." Fuck you smug ass pricks. I hate your society, I hate your culture, I hate your fucking knit hats that are accessories to your fucking thick rimmed glasses that you don't even need to fucking wear. You're just doing it to fit in with the rest of the society you subscribe yourself to, even though you're oh-so fucking different than all the other fuckers that dress/act just like you. You're just like the fucking emo-kid movement we had a few years back. At least the emo-kids were mopey, you're just a pretentious fuck. I bet you had a fucking beer review blog before I was doing it, right?

This pours a golden orange color. Decent carbonation and, even after my little rant, there is still a small amount of off-white head (I'm sure you fuckers were calling it off-white before off-white was a color, right?). I'm having issues picking up the nose on this because of the aftershave I put on (yeah, no beard on this guy). What I am picking up is faint. Sweetness, grapefruit, and pine. Taking the first sip is interesting. Lighter bodied, smooth drinking with a nice malt backbone that is balanced with the hops. Notes of caramel and straw from the malts with citrus and pine. Nothing is overpowering of one another. This drinks more like a session-IPA than the typical IPAs that I'm used to. There's some nice hop oil finish on the tongue with a dry finish. This is a more of a lawn-mower beer than most lawn-mower beers (fuck, that sounded like something a hipster would say). The finish, as mentioned, is dry, with some orange and grapefruit zest flavors that lightly linger with your slightly numbed tongue. Not bad at all, wish we would have picked up more than just one bottle of this.

4/5 caps

-Nathan, the Anti-Hipster-

Cough cough, Nathan might be a hipster. Possibly one in denial, but there, I said it. He certainly has some hipster tendencies. Then again, who among us doesn't? Some of us, agreeably, take it too far. Can we discuss the baggy skinny jeans that are one of my biggest pet peeves in men's fashion today? Sure, we'd all like to air out the cash and prizes, but add the skinny ankle, and I get almost as pissed off as as I do whenever I see a Nissan Cube, which, because you were probably unaware of my hatred for this vehicle, makes me want to punch babies and puppies and kittens. Not that I would, but it evokes that illogical, irrational rage side in me. For the love of hops, people, you can't call it a Cube and have an asymmetrical design. You can't have skinny jeans and baggy jeans in the same garment. You can't send your lackey to tell me you are in a meeting that could take 10 minutes or 10 hours because that's how these things go, when you see me get out of my car, just because it's on a day that you don't feel like buying beer. Fucking hipsters. I was so glad when Nathan grabbed this beer just as the roving hordes of hipsters started closing in on us in the Ville. I swore we would drink it when we got back in town that night, but we were pretty exhausted. A brew day in the middle, and here we are, celebrating that my number one favorite client didn't buy beer again from me again today, on the one day he buys beer for his several establishments. And he had the gall to call me "buddy". To my face. Even though I had just taken one, I definitely needed another shower after that. 

Ugh. I need to get this Hipster Repellent in my mouth, stat. Lucky for all of us, I deal with a lot of fun customers tomorrow. Nathan nailed the appearance. I pick up sweetness, pine, and wait, is that the scent of fading hops in the nose? I hope not; this is pretty fresh. I am picking up absolutely no malt backbone whatsoever, merely sweetness, like this is all caramel malts and no base malt at all. The sweetness masks some pine and grass notes in the flavor. It tastes almost like candied pine needles, if that were a thing (I'm sure some hipster somewhere will make it so. Just remember, I suggested it). There is an earthy note in the middle that then gives way to the grassy note. And the finish is astringent like I just chewed a crushed-up aspirin. The body is extremely thin for a 6.5% IPA. I would like to see this a little more robust, and candidly, from the name, I was expecting a dank brew with a solid blend of patchouli and kind bud I mean Columbus hops. Oh wait, did I confuse hipsters and hippies? My bad. I actually adore hippies.

3.7/5 caps

-Jennie

Cheese Pairing: Mild, boring ass, non-hipster cheddar

Food Pairing: Kraft macaroni and cheese. Out of the box. That's right. Original c-shaped macaroni. Hell, get the generic. The more Yellow #5 and #6, the fewer hipsters will buy it.

Music Pairing: Frank Turner "Four Simple Words" (pay attention to the lyrics)