Guiness Draught

Ok, so this is part two of our epic St Patty's Day Fiasco.

St. Patrick was a douche who drove the pagans out of Ireland (hence the 'driving the snakes out' story).  So because of that, we drink in America? This makes no sense to me.

But that's beside the point. Guinness is probably considered the quintessential Irish beer that's readily available in America.  The cap said that this is best enjoyed straight out of the bottle, so that is how this is being served.That would be because of the widget that's in the bottle to make it aerated and seem more like draft instead of out of a bottle. The color from this cannot be told, if you've never had it in a pint. The aroma is faint, but coffee and molasses like notes are noticed. The taste is very light. Some slight coffee tones, some slight biscuit tones, with some hints of smokey flavors on the back, but faint. This is probably got to be one of the lightest tasting beers that's not an American adjunct lager. Definitely lightest taste for a stout.  The mouthfeel on the other hand is thick, like a milk shake.

I know this is some people's favorite, other people's go-to import. This just isn't floating my boat. I forgot where I was going with this as Jennie started dancing a jig to Dropkick Murphys while holding a Bushmills bottle. This is why she is my partner.

3.5/5

-Nathan

Adam, this is for you. I miss you more than words can describe. For those of you who don't know my friend Adam, he and I used to terrorize the Short North of Columbus, particularly the Press Grill and The Rossi. Adam would walk in and immediately have two Guinni (the plural of Guinness, of course) waiting for him. One would be downed in the span of less than 10 seconds, the other would be consumed at a normal pace. If it were a really hot summer day, he would have three Guinni: two to slake the thirst, one to savor. And the debauchery would commence.

Pagan-banishing methods aside, I celebrate my Irish heritage on St. Patrick's Day. Corned beef and cabbage (even though it's more Irish-American) and colcannon (mashed potatoes and cabbage -- tonight's offering also included bacon, cheddar, and Smithwick's) were tonight's menu; Irish music has been playing in the house all weekend; Shamrock shots abound; and yes, I can jig. Suck on that, Muggles. Or whatever you non-Irish people are called. Even though everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day.

So, back to the Guinness... I pick up almost exclusively chocolate in the nose. When I drink it, I pick up water, coffee, and mild chocolate, with, as Nathan said, the very faint smoky notes on the back side. Mostly water, though, and that thick mouthfeel, like I've just eaten a three-course dinner in a pint glass.

Guinness is the lightest of beers, though, underwhelming the scale at less than 90 calories. Miller Lite has 90; Bud Light has 100. Unless you go to super-light beers with the numbers in the name (Miller 64 or Bud Select 55), you can't get a lighter calorie beer in America. For that, I like it. For a stout, not so much. There's too much of a discrepancy between with the flavor and the mouthfeel. I've heard Guinness tastes a lot better in Ireland. One item on my bucket list is to tell you whether or not that is true.

We have my dear friend Brandy over, and as we were downing our last round of Shamrock shots, I had a brilliant idea: instead of doing an Irish car bomb, do a Shamrock bomb -- drop a Shamrock shot into a bit of Guinness. At that moment, Irish Car Bombs became dead to me. Add a little creme de menthe, and it's one of the best beer cocktails I've had. Shamrock shots are equal parts Bailey's, Jameson/Bushmill's/your favorite Irish whiskey, and green creme de menthe. They taste just like Shamrock shakes from McDonald's. Only with three ingredients instead of 54. And you'll get drunk off these. Put them in a couple ounces of Guinness, and you have heaven.

3.75/5 caps

-Jennie