Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Three Floyds Apocalypse Cow

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With just less than an hour before "Drunk History" starts, we figured we might try to match the storytellers on this fabulous show. I so want to pressure Derek Waters into drinking our way through as many 12% beers as it takes for me to fall onto the floor and sing the opening of the Lion King. Not too long ago on a venture to our favorite local craft beer store, we picked up a bomber of this Three Floyds seasonal brew. It's a double IPA with lactose milk sugars added. It sounds just weird enough to try, gonzo enough to love, and, oh yeah, I've heard really good things about this. This weighs in at 11% ABV and 100 IBUS, so it should do the trick. And can we discuss how much I love the artwork on the label???

It slides into my glass, showing a medium amber color and with a moderate off-white head. The aroma is fantastic: pine, grapefruit, pineapple, orange, and just a hint of freshly-cut grass. Taking a sip, all of those flavors are unsurprisingly forward, but the lactose adds such an interesting note to this. It doesn't affect the flavor at all, it just smooths out the mouthfeel, so that it's soft, lush, and rich, kind of like drinking velvet. It's a sweeter hop bomb, but not offensively cloying, such as I find Ballast Point Sculpin and many lesser IPAs to be. There's a boozy note that comes through midway through the sip, and almost a burnt sugar note at the very back end, like the topping on a creme brulee. It's one of the most unique beers I've ever had, and I drink a lot of weird beers!

I've yet to have a bad beer from Three Floyds, and I love what they did with this. The label describes this beer as "not normal", and I'd definitely have to agree with them, yet they knocked this odd notion out of the ballpark.

4.7/5 caps

 -Jennie

This has had time to warm up.... a lot of time. Roughly 2 hours.... oops. Well, to be fair, we took an hour and a half break to hang out without neighbor, drink a Yuengling in memory of her uncle, and watch Drunk History. Which linking that reminds me how much I don't like our earlier reviews of beers. We've become more thorough, more expanded, more experienced, more drunk.

That being said, it shocks me that this still has a small amount of head lingering around, much like a small portion of a song that's stuck in your head for days, you know the tune and a couple words, but you're stubborn, so you're not going to look it up. But, damn, what is that!? Is it some 80's New Wave or something they played on the modern alt rock station last week? I seem to be getting sidetracked. So, the color on this was nailed by Jennie.  The aroma on this is.... hang on let's twist an Apocalypse Now reference " * Long Sniff* I love the smell of hops in the morning!" Pineapple, orange, grapefruit, and some hints grass (dig deep, it's faded at this point, same as the pine notes Jennie picked up earlier). Mind you, 2 hours into being poured, I still want to have a room in a house that smells like this, year round.

Time for another Apocalypse Now quote: "You'll never find out about yourself working in some fucking factory in Ohio." This beer makes me realize that in the first sip. My factory job (actually, yes, in Ohio) will never bring me to inner peace, finding my inner light. This beer, on the other hand, is closer than factory work. It's fantastic. There's a blast of grapefruit zest, pine and orange upfront, your mind expects this to intensify and linger, like most DIPAs, but instead, the malts come in and the lactose sugars pop in and mellow everything out, giving balance to something that otherwise would be overpowering. The hops do linger, but instead of intensifying, they dissipate as the smooth liquid slides from the lips and down the esophagus. There's some almost lemon like flavors from the hops at this point that blends perfectly with the caramel notes from the malt. The lactose sugars gives it a smooth mouthfeel, like laying naked on a comfy bed with velvet sheets on it. Moving your arms and legs, rejoicing in the sheer joy you get from it touching your skin. Picture that, but on your tongue. The finish is slightly sticky, but with this being 11% and 100 IBUs, I can't tell clearly which it is, as there is both hop and sweetness stickiness. 

If you're able to, pick this up, it's an experience. Who would have thought of adding lactose sugars to a DIPA? I never would have thought it would work with something so hoppy (I'm used to lactose sugars being in stouts). Well, shit, Three Floyds, you nailed it. I tip my hat to you, fine sirs (and possibly madames - Jennie).

4.8/5 caps

-Nathan-

Music pairings: "Ride of the Valkyries", Wagner, not only for the movie reference, but also for the way this beer blasts across the tongue
Cheese pairings: a good, local Farmer's cheese. Something nice and creamy.
Food pairings: Peach Crisp

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