DysfunctionAle (Columbus Craft Beer Week Collaboration Beer) Review

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DysfunctionAle 

If you're not familiar with it, this is Columbus Craft Beer Week (CCBW), a celebration of all things having to do with Columbus Craft Beer with events happening nightly, all ending with a beer festival called Six One Pour. The Six One Pour festival has breweries from all over this great state and is put on by the Ohio Craft Brewer's Association (visit www.ohiocraftbeer.org and www.columbusbeerweek.com/ for more information).  

CCBW has been fun for the last 3 years. It's a time for breweries to collaborate, celebrate, and enjoy/give back to the community that supports them. The first year (2015), breweries were paired up with a 'name out of a hat' type drawing, there ended up being 7 different collaboration beers made for it (find a listing at Pat's Pint's blog) with the Six One Pour event happening at the old Brewer's Gate building. That was like a greenhouse where it was 90+ degrees in there, you had to drink beer to stay cool and quasi hydrated. There was also the tallest tap handle contest (see below picture). 2016 had a single collaboration beer, Saison 994, brewed with 16 breweries at North High's facility. The Six One Pour event was moved to Huntington Park (home of the Columbus Clippers). 

(2015 Six One Pour's tallest tap handle competition/winner)



2017 sees the Six One Pour event returning to Huntington Park, but a different take on the collaboration beer. 20 different breweries gathered at Columbus Brewing Company in early April to brew 60 barrels (31.5 gallons per barrel, barrel being a unit of measure in this instance, not the oaken vessels used to age wine/spirits) of a hoppy pale ale (www.columbusbeerweek.com/collaboration/ for a list of breweries, or see below). This beer is the first collaboration for CCBW to be packaged. Half of this beer was canned, while the other half was kegged off for your enjoyment at bars/growler fill locations/festivals. We had to snag a few of these cans for ourselves

Enough dicking around. It's the end of Columbus Beer Week and we'd be doing an injustice to this great industry if we didn't do something for it. We bring you our review of this collaboration beer. It's weird, I can't find any reviews on it other than Untappd and even there, there aren't that many reviews. People have written about the brew day (see Pat's Pints). This historic brew needs recognition.

This pours a very clear orange-brown color (see picture). It's been 2 hours since I poured it and snapped the picture at the top (had to research the 2015 collaborations as I couldn't remember how many were done, then my best friend/neighbor popped by for beer/talk/bourbon). The head on this is still remaining, almost like it was just poured.
  

Yes, I let this warm up for a while. Maybe longer than I should have, but interruptions happen, just like life. As I get back into the groove of writing, I put on some thinking music and finish my bourbon, followed by a palate cleanser of cheap American lager.

As I mentioned, this is clear. This is a picture of this blog post so far, looking through the beer glass.  

The aroma on this is stellar; citrus fruit heavy, hints of pine and sweetness. The initial sip is a whirlwind of flavors starting with a lighter bitterness that instantly goes into a wave of malty sweetness; two row graininess with lighter hints of honey. Then the malty rush dissipates as the hops start to come toward the front. Citrus, candy, lighter notes of pine (like the aroma). These drop out and leave a grassy-like flavor while light bitterness slowly builds, leaving a slight numbing sensation on the tongue. Smooth drinking, lighter body at only 5.9%, this would not suck to have in the summer months as a 'doing yard work in the sun' beer. It's a solid pale ale with a great balance of flavors. 

While you're enjoying the last little bit of Columbus Craft Beer Week, seek this out.  Go taste and enjoy the fruits of a collaboration beer that went right. Go thank a brewer/rep for this.

As a final thought before I turn this over to my partner-in-life/crime/drunken-shenanigans, here is a list of the breweries that partook in the collaboration (listed alphabetically):
The Actual Brewing Company
Barley's Brewing Company
The Brew Brothers
Buckeye Lake Brewery
Columbus Brewing Company
Combustion Brewery and Taproom
Elevator Brewery
Four String Brewery
Grove City Brewing Company 
Ill Mannered Brewing Company 
Kindred Beer
Lineage Brewing
Land Grant Brewing Company
North High Brewing
Pigskin Brewing
Platform Brewing (Columbus Branch)
The RAM Restaurant and Brewery
Seventh Son Brewing Company
Wolf's Ridge Brewing Company
Zauber

If you aren't from Columbus, be sure to check these places out as they all have stellar brews. If you are from Columbus, complete your Ale Trail booklet and drink local tasty beers.

4.5/5

-Nathan-

OK, so I may or may not be biased on this beer. I most definitely was not at brew day for this beer. Yet I have strong opinions about this beer. 

I fucking love it. This is one of the best collaboration beers I have had, and it's just NORMAL enough to kill your mindset on collab beers. Often they are rough. They can be really weird. Many times, they are just not that good. I am partial to a few: Dayman, which was the 2013-ish Stone Brewing homebrew competition winner and set the bar for coffee IPAs; Oak Skyhopper from the inaugural CCBW, a collaboration between Smokehouse and Zaftig, a pale ale featuring lemongrass and lemon zest and oak spirals; and Tropicalia, a delicious non-hazy IPA from Creature Comforts and Cigar City. 

I realize, as I sit here in my pajamas on a Saturday afternoon, that I have yet to have this beer in a glass. Unless I am reviewing it or it's my first time having it or I'm sharing a bottle, I tend to drink beers straight from the vessel. All you glassware nerds can mock me all you want. I have a cabinet full of proper-as-fuck glassware, but I'm also day drinking and not wearing pants, so I have that going for me. It's perfectly fine to be jealous.

I agree with Nathan's assessment of DysfunctionAle, so I won't dissect it much further. I will urge you to seek it out, if you can still find it around town. Many better bottle shops are running low on it, although it's still available if you search hard enough. If you can't find it in cans, you should be able to find it on tap. It will definitely be featured at Columbus Brewing Company's booth tonight at Six One Pour, so make sure you grab some tickets and go. Not only does Mary put on a fantastic, efficiently run beer festival, but the beer list for tonight is insanely good. And unlike Rock on the Range, there is a rain plan so that you don't have to get drenched or find something to do when they evacuate the festival. 

I will add this to Nathan's review of DysfunctionAle: I was fascinated with the aroma. Hell, I still am. There is a lovely peach/stone fruit note that I haven't found in many other beers. It's lemony, too, probably from the use of El Dorado hops or the hop formerly known as Equinox. This is an insanely good pale. It's fruity, and delightfully hoppy, and one thing that impresses me is that it's completely different from any other hoppy offering from Columbus Brewing. (And they know their way around some hops.) Tony is some sort of hop wizard. 

I am super sad that this is my last can of this delicious treat. Guess I should put on some pants and go seek out some more, because I'm not quite done loving on this beer.

4.5/5 

-Jennie

Updated Beer Fest Drinking Game

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Another year, another season of Beer Festivals. We decided to update our list after the announcement that Columbus's Hullabaloo Festival is dead.  I was able to attend the last Hullabaloo, It was one of the better beer festivals in town, sad to see it go because of whiny cunts who don't represent the consumer market as a whole.

This is the first post in our rejuvenated Behind the Tap. We'll post a mission status (it'll be less beer reviews and more in depth with the brewing industry). There's the mission status). We start with a perennial favorite of ours. We turned this into a bingo game at the Six One Pour event last May (we passed out bingo squares with different 'people' to brewers and volunteers. All seemed to have fun with it. If you want to do a Bingo style, there are plenty of free generators, help yourself). So without any further ado, while listening to David Bowie, we bring you our updated Beer Fest Drinking Game. To paraphrase Zeppelin, The style is new, but the face is the same.

Beer Festival Season is upon us.

After attending a few beer festivals (be it the annual major megafest in your state or the limited release whale party or the little local suburban tinyfest), you start to notice different types of people that are always there. Print this list and take it with you to the next big event. If you collect them all, consider yourself a seasoned veteran of the beer festival circuit (and drink an entire pint). Just don't hate us in the morning.


1) Goofy-ass Hat Guy

Now, while it's fashionable to wear a hat, most festival-goers stick to ball caps or military style. But not this guy. He's proudly rocking his cowboy/outback/fedora/insert hat as if the beer festival was Coachella. Your friend, who looks like a lawyer, has a personal grudge against this guy, mocking his hat endlessly to where he wouldn't stop to help him with a broken down vehicle. Drink one if you spot This Guy. Drink two if he's rocking assless chaps to go along with the hat.

2) The Bored Girl/Boyfriend

S/he has no interest in his beer geek lifestyle. S/he can't stand the smell or taste of beer. S/he's here because his/her friends bailed on him/her (Thanks, Becky/Brody). You'll be able to point out this person in an instant- S/he looks bored and is constantly on their favorite social media site instead of taking in the sights, sounds, and tastes that the partner is loving every minute of. Drink one for each Bored Boy/Girlfriend you spot. Give them a 5 ounce sample if they fake an interest in what the partner-in-crime is saying and drink one with them.

3) The Mustachioed Menace

Also known as the Bearded Douche. One look at this guy and you are guessing he's the head brewer at the newest local nanobrewery in town, even though he has never put malt and hops together before. He's proud of his facial fur. Spends most of the evening at the mustache wax booth, with the occasional foray out to refresh his 5-ounce sample glass. He spends more time shaping and sculpting his 'stache than a teen spends getting ready for prom. And just like that teen, he's pretty sure his pristine facial pubes are getting getting him laid tonight. Well done on sharing info about which brand of mustache wax used to EVERY booth. Make him use two festival tickets to buy you a drink if you spot this guy in all his mustache wax glory.

4) The Dick

He's the person who bitches about everything at the festival. The speakers aren't right, the food isn't good enough, the beer isn't exclusive enough. In an exceptionally douchey moment, he might threaten physical harm to the festival organizers who are doing this for the love of beer instead of money. This is the kind of fuck weasel that ruins great things. This ass hat doesn't respect anyone else and will try his best to ruin your experience. If you can get away with it, catch him with an elbow, making it look accidental, avoid festival security, then drink until you can't hear his fucking idiotic voice droning on. DO NOT BE THIS GUY!!!!

5) The Enthusiastic Volunteer

They love having the chance to connect with the beer scene with an event like this. They usually know a brewer or two and do this for fun. They can hype up the beer as much as the brewmaster could. While sampling many beers at the event, they will hype up the booth where they're assigned. They like to have fun, you'll have fun with them. Drink with them. (Side note: certain states, including Ohio, restrict brewery workers from serving their own beer at festivals, so volunteers are critical to libation happiness. Don't EVER be #4 to them).

6) The "Type" Drinker

You know them. "I only drink IPAs, he only drinks dark beers." They both give you condescending looks when you describe a hoppy strong ale that drinks like an IPA despite being a dark color, appealing to both. There is no pleasing these bastards, by the way. The IPA you're pouring/drinking will never measure up to King Julius (which they've never had) and the dark beer isn't as good as Guinness. Drink two if you get them to try something out of their comfort zone.

7) The Know-It-All

There's no point in describing a beer to them, they already know everything about it. They haven't done research, they just know. They'll sometimes correct you on the ingredients and flavors they give off, no matter how wrong they are. You: "This is continuously hopped with Citra which gives it..." Them (interrupting): "No, actually. This is Hallertau-Mittelfruh, which is grown exclusively in the summer in the mountainous region in New Los Angeles, New Zealand. I can taste it."... Sigh...  Drink until you forget the conversation you had with this infuriating idiot.

8) The "Brewpie"

A groupie of brewers. She came to the festival alone, but her hopes are not leaving alone. There are around 20-60 breweries at the event, each one having brewers and reps working.  Odds look good for her. She has done the research; she knows who the brewmaster is at each brewery, and she knows whether or not he is single. Most likely not wearing panties, she skips over any brewery owned or operated by a woman or corporation. She'll put on the charm, she'll bat her eyelashes, she'll give a little wiggle. She knows what she's doing, it's not her first time at the rodeo (unlike "Cowboy Hat Guy"). If you are work at a brewery, wrap it twice and run far and fast. If not, buy her a drink and tell her you work at a brewery. Or at least help her into her Uber car.

9) The Talker

They liked your beer. They were told by their friend that they need to try the beer. They were hesitant at first, as it's not normally a style they like, but their friend hasn't steered them wrong yet, and by golly, their friend was right again. They tell your their life story while holding up a line of thirsty people behind them. Drink until they stop talking.






10) The Beer Lover

This person appreciates all beer. They aren't a crude, arrogant type, not at all. They appreciate what the brewer took time to accomplish. These are people who give honest feedback, whether it's "this isn't for me" or "this is the best beer I've had tonight." They are the heart and soul of why brewers do this. You'd get too drunk seeing these people, so give them a cheers and thank them. Take a sip instead of a whole drink.





11) The Ill-Prepared Business Guy

He drinks macro light beer, but read about this event in the paper. He doesn't know a wit from a weizenbock. This guy is completely out of his element. You try and guide him toward beers he might enjoy, but he's lost, like a baby at a strip club. Try and expand his horizons, have him loosen his tie and enjoy life. Drink your favorite at the festival with him. Remind him that life's too short to drink shitty beer.

12) The Good Times Guy

Usually mid-to-late 40's, he's shit faced and doesn't care who he bumps into. He'll try and dance with them. He'll be first in the karaoke lineup, just after he has had one too many and he's going to butcher "Sweet Home Alabama"  or that Three Non-Blondes song... You know the 'hey hey hey hey' song. Fuck it, it's a festival, right? He'll try and get selfies with any attractive lady. Hell, by closing time, they don't even have to be attractive. His Hawaiian shirt lets you know he IS the life of the party. Often spotted with the Wayne to his Garth. Party on, bruh. Run as far away as possible as quickly as you can and give him a high-five across the venue. Then drink three because you made it out alive. Then duck and run, and drink one more for good measure.

13) Intellectual Rednecks

They're dressed like Larry The Cable Guy impersonators; overweight with cut-off flannels exposing their hairy arms, bearded, camo ball caps. They look like they don't know anything other than Natty or Busch. DO NOT LET THIS STEREOTYPE DETER YOU! These are some of the most knowledgeable and well-spoken people at the festival. Much more knowledgeable than those condescending Hipsters, who give sideways glances to these guys as if to say "What are you doing at OUR festival?" I like these guys. Drink one with these guys. Take an extra drink if they actually work at a brewery. Dump what's in your glass and drink what they're drinking.

14) The Frat Boy Type

They roam in hordes, bro. A Pride of Cock Jockeys (probably their frat house name). They aren't at the festival to appreciate good beer, no, they're there to pound brews with their bros and hit on chicks. Doesn't matter what beer, doesn't matter what chick. You'll know them from the gaggle of douchebags who are all dressed the same. Fred Durst ain't got shit on these pig fuckers. Drink one when you see them. Take an extra drink if they hit on you, take two if you are a guy.

15) The Hype Seeker


This individual only wants to seek out the hyped up breweries. 3-4 spots of the hottest, newest breweries. They get into conversation in line about what they've read about these breweries and make judgements on them before even trying them. They spend the entire time in line on beer social media reading reviews, already knowing they'll rate it at a perfect score. Looks down upon startups without the hype and dare won't touch the larger regional craft breweries. Get this guy a Bud Light. Stat.


16) The Coordinators

They made this happen. They tend to have lives outside the beer festival circuit, yet the spend tiresome months on end arranging all the details of these events. Sleepless nights and careful planning to assure you have a hell of a night. They are walking around, making sure all the breweries have ample ice and water, making sure patrons aren't too intoxicated, making sure all things are going according to plan. They may have the same shirt the volunteers do, and although volunteers are valuable, these are the hidden rare foil card in your Pokemon booster pack. These are the heroes that are forgotten. All the patrons of the event look to the breweries as their godsends when really it's the "man behind the curtain"' An endless thank you to those groups. Remind yourselves as you walk in "THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN WITHOUT THESE PEOPLE!" #4. #4. #4. If you happen to run into any event coordinator, talk to them. Thank them. Get them a beer. 

Repeat, Don't be #4. Don't be a dick, have fun. We're all there to have fun and enjoy ourselves. Don't ruin it for everyone else because you're a dick. Hopsus be with you.

Food pairing: Pretzels on a necklace
Music pairing: "Don't Stop Believing" as belted out by Good Times Guy
Cheese pairing: Nacho cheese sold at the food court

People at Beer Festivals Drinking Game

Please follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Instagram. You can also follow us on Untappd with our names of @jenniek and @guitaristshad.

Beer Festival Season is upon us.

After attending a few beer festivals (be it the annual major megafest in your state or the limited release whale party or the little local suburban tinyfest), you start to notice different types of people that are always there. Print this list and take it with you to the next big event. If you collect them all, consider yourself a seasoned veteran of the beer festival circuit (and drink an entire pint). Just don't hate us in the morning.


1) Cowboy Hat Guy

Now, while it's fashionable to wear a hat, most festival-goers stick to ball caps or military style. But not this guy. He's proudly rocking his cowboy hat as if the beer festival was a Nashville country bar. Drink one if you spot This Guy. Drink two if he's rocking assless chaps to go along with the hat.

2) The Bored Girlfriend

She has no interest in his beer geek lifestyle. She can't stand the smell or taste of beer. She's here because her friends bailed on her (Thanks, Becky). You'll be able to point her out in an instant- She looks bored and is constantly on her favorite social media site instead of taking in the sights, sounds, and tastes that her boyfriend is loving every minute of. Drink one for each Bored Girlfriend you spot. Give her a 5 ounce sample if she fakes an interest in what the boyfriend is saying and drink one with her.

3) The Mustachioed Menace

He's proud of his facial fur. He spends more time shaping and sculpting his 'stache than a teen spends getting ready for prom. And just like the teen, he's pretty sure his pristine facial pubes are getting getting him laid tonight. Well done on sharing info about which brand of mustache wax used to EVERY booth. Make him use a festival ticket to buy you a drink if you spot this guy in all his mustache wax glory.

4) The Craft Beer/Festival Noob

While I do applaud your effort on wanting to sample each and every beer from every vendor/brewery, don't throw a temper tantrum like a 3-year-old when "the one you were wanting to try all day" ran out an hour ago. If you really wanted to try it, you would have made this your first stop. If you have a 3-year-old, drink 3, one for each year. You've earned it. If you spot This Guy, grab one of his festival tickets and leave him empty-handed.

5) The "Type" Drinker

You know them. "I only drink IPAs, he only drinks dark beers." They both give you condescending looks when you describe a hoppy strong ale that drinks like an IPA despite being a dark color, appealing to both. There is no pleasing these bastards, by the way. The IPA you're pouring/drinking will never measure up to Pliny (which they've never had) and the dark beer isn't as good as Guinness. Drink two if you get them to try something out of their comfort zone.

6) The Know-It-All

There's no point in describing a beer to them, they already know everything about it. They haven't done research, they just know. They'll sometimes correct you on the ingredients and flavors they give off, no matter how wrong they are. You: "This is continuously hopped with Citra which gives it..." Them (interrupting): "No, actually. This is Hallertau-Mittelfruh, which is grown exclusively in the summer in the mountainous region in New Los Angeles, New Zealand. I can taste it."... Sigh...  Drink until you forget the conversation you had with this infuriating idiot.

 7) The "Brewpie"

A groupie of brewers. She came to the festival alone, but her hopes are not leaving alone. There are around 20-60 breweries at the event, each one having brewers and reps working.  Odds look good for her. She has done the research; she knows who the brewmaster is at each brewery, and she knows whether or not he is single. Most likely not wearing panties, she skips over any brewery owned or operated by a woman or corporation. She'll put on the charm, she'll bat her eyelashes, she'll give a little wiggle. She knows what she's doing, it's not her first time at the rodeo (unlike "Cowboy Hat Guy"). If you are available and work at a brewery, take her home. If not, buy her a drink and tell her you work at a brewery.

8) The Talker

They liked your beer. They were told by their friend that they need to try the beer. They were hesitant at first, as it's not normally a style they like, but their friend hasn't steered them wrong yet, and by golly, their friend was right again. They tell your their life story while holding up a line of thirsty people behind them. Drink three if they hate the beer you steered them to. Match their drinks just to shut them the hell up.

9) The Unfortunate Bastard

You can watch him in line. He's smiling and enjoying himself. Then BAM, his face changes to a morose, dismal look from seeing his ex with her new guy walk past him. He had a list of beers he wanted to try, scratch that. Now he just wants to get shitty drunk. I feel for him. If you're working a festival, give this guy an extra pour (and take an extra drink for yourself). If you aren't working a festival and happen across this poor bastard, drink three apiece. He's earned it.

10) The Good Times Guy

Usually mid-to-late 40's, he's shit faced and doesn't care who he bumps into. He'll try and dance with them. He'll be first in the karaoke lineup, just after he has had one too many and he's going to butcher "Sweet Home Alabama". Fuck it, it's a festival, right? He'll try and get selfies with any attractive lady. Hell, by closing time, they don't even have to be attractive. His Hawaiian shirt lets you know he IS the life of the party. Often spotted with the Wayne to his Garth. Party on, bruh. Run as far away as possible as quickly as you can and give him a high-five across the venue. Then drink three because you made it out alive. Then duck and run, and drink one more for good measure.

11) Intellectual Rednecks

They're dressed like Larry The Cable Guy impersonators; overweight with cut-off flannels exposing their hairy arms, bearded, camo ball caps. They look like they don't know anything other than Natty or Busch. DO NOT LET THIS STEREOTYPE DETER YOU! These are some of the most knowledgeable and well-spoken people at the festival. Much more knowledgeable than those condescending Hipsters, who give sideways glances to these guys as if to say "What are you doing at OUR festival?" I like these guys. Drink one with these guys. Take an extra drink if they actually work at a brewery. Chances are you won't need to do this because they will have offered you something amazing, but drink one with these guys anyway, their choice.

12) The Frat Boy Type

They roam in hordes, bro. They aren't at the festival to appreciate good beer, no, they're there to pound brews with their bros and hit on chicks. Doesn't matter what beer, doesn't matter what chick. You'll know them from the gaggle of douchebags who are all dressed the same. Drink one when you see them. Take an extra drink if they hit on you, take two if you are a guy.

13) The Beer Elitist

Paid for the VIP experience, refuses to drink anything offered because they aren't 'whales' or 100% Brett. They glide past many booths, scathingly looking down their noses, as they haven't heard of the up-and-coming breweries. Any brewery that isn't on RateBeer or Beer Advocate's top 10 or that didn't have a glowing write-up with a much-anticipated opening isn't good enough for them. Drink two if you get them to drink a "commoner" beer. Drink four if you get them to stop at the quick-refill stations for one.

14) The Hipster

You know the person. Sporting skinny jeans, a flannel, Chuck Taylors, black horn-rimmed glasses, and (if a guy) a plethora of facial hair, ever-so-carefully groomed. May overlap with the Mustachioed Menace. Technically, they may cross-breed with most other types on the list, but this one. This guy had the 2008 barleywine from X brewery in 2007. Probably listening to some obscure band on Spotify and not listening to you, spewing wisdom of the various brews available. Drawn to the PBR booth like a mosquito to a bug zapper between limited release cask beers. Choose target friend to give a drink for each hipster spotted. Take it back if they are a brewer.

Food pairing: Pretzels on a necklace
Music pairing: "Sweet Home Alabama," as belted out by Good Times Guy
Cheese pairing: Nacho cheese on the bland-ass nachos sold at the food court