Stone RuinTen

Got the kitties high off fresh organic catnip? Check. Kid in bed? Check. Classic Alt music station going? Check. Painting station going? Check. Good beer flowing? Fucking check.

So, to be fair, we had a sampling of this Friday at Aficionado's in Polaris area. This was fantastic and I couldn't wait to review this thoroughly. Well, Saturday was a long day at work followed by more work around the house and shopping, so beer reviews wasn't even a thought in my mind. Which brings us to now. To this exact sentence. Holy shit, here we are. The present. Unfortunately, the flux capacitor in my DeLorean gave out, so we have to drink this in the present and not the past or future. Carpe noctem.

The pour on this is a gorgeous rich amber with a small amount of stark white head that slightly lingers. The aroma on this is worthy of a sacrifice to The all mighty, Hopsus. Hopsus be with you. The nose is nothing but hops; tropical fruit up front with some grapefruit and orange, with some earthy tones to add to this Homage to Hopsus. Closest I can find is 100 IBUs and 10.6% ABV. So let's delve into the flavor profile head first like Greg Louganis on a diving board at the 1988 Seoul Olympics.

The initial sip was so good I took off my hat and laughed about the Greg Louganis comment. What you got in the nose is what you taste. The citrus comes out more than the tropical, though. There is a sweetness noted after the initial hop onslaught. The sweetness is accompanied by a caramel-like flavor. That sweetness fades away into oblivion while an orange zest-like bitterness sweeps subtly over the palate, dominating eventually in a manner much like Sherman's March. The more I drink, and the more this warms up, the more the malt flavors play into the profile. The alcohol is felt in the after affects, but not in the actual drinking. This is smooth drinking with a medium mouthfeel. There really isn't a resiny effect on the mouth, like I'd expect from the aroma. This is just smooth.

5/5 caps

-Nathan-

Smooth, like Greg Louganis's shaved body before a diving meet? Come on, love, you were three during the Seoul Olympics. Whereas I was.... well, being born, according to your math. Somehow, I actually recall the Seoul Olympics, though. They showed Korea had a fun, light-hearted side. Or something like that. Damn, now I'm craving some kim chee.

This has warmed considerably since we started the review, as it's approximately 100 degrees in here and has been a little bit since I played the kitties some Jon Lajoie to accompany their catnip, because yes, they're "High as F*ck". The chill haze has long since disappeared. But the taste is very similar to what Nathan described, although I'm picking up on some of the tropical fruits. Mango and passionfruit are in play on my tongue, then get quickly swept away by the orange bitterness that Nathan mentioned.

We attended Comfest today, which is an abbreviation for Community Festival, and is a weekend of debauchery in Columbus. It's basically a hippie-fest, where the women go topless and paint their breasts, men wear skirts, everyone loves their mankind, and a half million of your closest friends jam out to some great local music and drink some local beer. There's a little bit of everything sold in the vendor booths, including some locally grown dank catnip. Hence why the cats are loving life and hearing in colors right now. This beer was the perfect cap to that experience, as at the tasting Friday, I had noted that it was a little dank, in a really good way.

5/5 caps

-Jennie

Bridgeport India Pale Ale

This is yet another brew we picked up on the much-ballyhooed road trip to Peoria. I'm nursing what may well be the worst hangover in history, so it should prove interesting. Nathan had the brilliant idea to attend a beer tasting earlier, and while the beers tasted amazing, they also made me a little woozy. Hopefully the pizza we had for dinner will continue to counteract my gin-soaked haze.

BridgePort Brewing Company is based in Portland, Oregon, in what may just well be America's craft beer mecca. Well, besides the highly underrated Columbus, Ohio, but that's a rant for a different day. This clocks in at 5.5% ABV. Let's see how is stands up to yesterday's overindulgence of gin. I noticed as we were pouring this that the bottle reminds me of Dundee's labels.

It pours a medium orange color, with plenty of haze and a small but tight off-white head. The aroma is lovely, with notes of bready malts, citrus, and a little pine sneaking in. Ugh, pine. That reminds me of gin. Any other day, it would be a welcome note. Not today. No, sir. Taking a sip, there are notes of mango, citrus, and damn, there's the pine, followed by freshly-mown grass and a lovely dry finish that almost tastes of grape must or champagne. It's an interesting IPA, to be certain. I find the malt notes come out more in the nose than in the taste itself. Somewhere after the sip is gone, there's a hint of black peppercorns that make an appearance.

This is the first beer I've had from BridgePort. I'd be happy to be find more of this and have it as a regular in my fridge.

On a completely unrelated note, my dad got into our stash of unobtainium while we were at the beer tasting. No, he couldn't feel free to help himself to the beers in the back that there are duplicates of and that are readily available in Ohio. He had to go for the Greenbush Brewing Company Sunspot, a hefeweizen. While he took a potty break, I totally sneaked a sip. Not enough to do a full review on, but enough to get a feel for the beer. It was a solid hefeweizen, but it had a lot of the notes of Belgian yeast that I don't prefer. So I'll let that one slide. I suppose. Note, this is the second Friday in a row that he's helped himself to the stash of unobtainium. Last week was because he couldn't wait the fifteen minutes while I ran to the beer store. We're gonna have to start hiding the good stuff.

4.7/5 caps

-Jennie

After drinking a couple Hudy 14K (as Burger is hard to find, for some reason), I'm primed for something Hoppy. This has been a long month of pulling double shifts and working Saturdays, tomorrow not breaking the cycle. Happier things, BEER.

Note: I work close to the AB brewery in town and occasionally I can catch a whiff of hops. This doesn't help with my daily cravings of hops. Other note: I think I should stock up on hop candy and just suck on a piece at work when my hop cravings get intense.

So, as Jennie mentioned, this pours a hazy orange. I just noticed, as my fingers are lazily typing, that if you forget the 'o' in orange, you get range. Huh. Things that you never notice over 27 years of a dry and listless life. But back to the review.  The aroma is a citrus burst with mild backing tones of floral and bready malts. Huh. The flavor is mango and citrus heavy with some sweetness of the malts. Nice and balanced, not bitter in the least bit. It gives a great dry, clean finish to lend to the medium mouthfeel. There is a reason this has an 87 at BeerAdvocate and a 93 at RateBeer.

One of those smooth IPAs that you wish you had more of. Sigh.

4.7/5 caps

-Nathan

Capital Brewery Mutiny IPA

This is one of the beers we picked up during our hell trip to Illinois a couple weeks ago. Capital Brewery is based out of Madison, Wisconsin, and it's one you can't get in Ohio. So na na na boo boo. At least my dad didn't drink this one: he killed the Big Sky IPA last week because he couldn't wait the 15 minutes for me to get back with some everyday beer. His justification? It was in a can. I was debating whether to be pissed or whether to educate him on the wonders of craft beer in cans. I've finally calmed down enough that I might be able to have that conversation now, five days later. I've also since been stocking the fridge in a more timely fashion. Sigh. I sniffed the can when he was done.

This is not our first encounter with Capital Brewery. On a prior trip to Illinois, I fell in love with their Hop Cream. Nathan wasn't as enthused over that beer, but we couldn't find some on this trip for him to revisit. I'm a little stoked. We've both been craving hops, so we're rather optimistic about this.

Mutiny IPA pours a partly cloudy medium amber color with a moderate white head that sticks around for a bit. The aroma on this is fantastic. Pine and grapefruit are rather prevalent, with a hint of caramel present as well. Taking a sip, my mouth is happy. It's just as it smells, with an underpinning of the caramel sweetness from the lovely malt backbone. The pine and grapefruit float over the top, it seems. It's moderately carbonated, tickling my throat, and finishes fairly dry.

It's good enough that it makes me want to consider moving back to Illinois, where I can get this more readily.

4.65/5 caps

-Jennie

The reason I did not care for (at the time, it might have changed since) the Hop Cream was the mouthfeel. It was too Guinness-like for my personal palate.

So, after 3 1/2 solid weeks of working double shifts (and a Saturday) with sheer sleep deprivation, my body is near the shut down point. 4 hours of sleep a night is not enough for one to survive off of for so long. During this psychosis today, I had a multiple sense experience from memory. The vision was a pint glass filled with a good IPA, the taste and smell were a big grapefruit and citrus combination. The bad things about this sensory overload/spirit walk, is it was roughly 11am, and I've been CRAVING hops since. No, I don't need alcohol to survive or get through my day, it was the craving for an IPA, much like a pregnant woman has cravings for chocolate.

So with that being said, I continue onto this review. As she-with-paint-on-her-glasses stated, this pours an amber color, although I'd say more of a lighter amber.The head has somewhat stuck around throughout her section of the review and my zoning out (while trying to think {ouch} of the proper term for sensory overload). The aroma is citrus, floral, perfume, and caramel; blending in a harmonious bliss that this tongue has longed for (I haven't had an IPA in a couple weeks). The flavor is interesting. There's an initial bite of faint citrus that melds and eventually gives way to a earthy and floral combination with hints of caramel aiding to the profile, ending on some bitterness that lingers slightly. Not quite as hoppy as I'd like, but still good. The mouthfeel is rather creamy with just the right amount of carbonation.

This is a 6.2% ABV, 70 IBU brew, but does not seem like 70 IBUs, as it has a decent malt backbone to lend to the hops.

4.5/5 caps

-Nathan

Two Brothers Outlaw

We did some crawling along Indianola tonight in search of good beer. We scored a couple, and missed out on one, but we decided it was a growler kind of night. If you haven't been to Savor Growl (at the corner of Weber and Indianola), they have 60 different taps from which you can take 64 ounces or so of fresh draft beer home (that's almost a six-pack's worth of volume). It's a pretty fucking awesome concept.

I love that growlers have hit hard in Columbus this year.

When we arrived home, I learned of James Gandolfini passing. Not only does "The Sopranos" still rank among my favorite television shows, but he's such a great, recognizable actor. He's been in seemingly everything. One of my favorite roles of his is the film adaptation of Maurice Sendak's Where The Wild Things Are. So tonight, Tony Soprano, Wild Thing Carol, CIA director in Zero Dark Thirty and so many other roles, we raise a toast to you. Thank you for entertaining us for so many years.

It's also National Martini Day. My next glass from the growler will be served in a martini glass. Who knew?  Mock me if you will for my glass of choice, but martinis are really good. I could go for, well, several after today.

Speaking of beer and a growler, let's get back to this. We settled on Two Brothers Outlaw, which is an IPA from a great brewery out of Illinois. We first encountered this last summer in a can. It was wonderful. Hopefully it's just as good on tap. It pours a medium amber color with a smallish white head that doesn't stick around. The aroma is faint. Really faint. Like I'm wondering if my nose is shot from allergies and dulled because I've already had a pint of this. It's a tad lemony, I suppose, but that's about all I'm getting from the martini glass. The taste, however, is much better. It starts out almost with a hint of brown sugar, then almost immediately fades to grapefruit and then to lemon. The brown sugar note underpins all of the citrus. Long after the taste has eased down your throat, there's a note of pine that comes through. It's a solid IPA... not quite as good as I recalled, but still quite tasty.

And there's the problem with drinking beer from a martini glass: it disappears quickly and requires frequent refills.

Back to the beer. There's not much more to add. It's well carbonated and fairly bubbly on the tongue.

With that, I'll turn it over to my esteemed partner-in-crime and let him tell you more. I'm going to let my ADD pick between watching a very crazy hockey game and completing a painting that was due, well, today. I'll probably do both.

4.55/5 caps

-Jennie

Well, after entering my second pint of this (and a Burger Classic or two), and playing Words With Friends and The Simpsons Tapped Out, while Jennie decided to take over an hour on this review/fiddling around on Facebook, the font for an art project, and random links about James Gandolfini, I've had time to ponder this beer more and more with each slow sip.

This is room temp now, as the growler has sat out on the counter for roughly 2 hours now. The color is how she described, a medium amber. There's not much head that's left now, as it dissipates quickly, but from memory, it's a gorgeous white that sits perfectly on top of this elixir of Hopsus. And this cat better leave my vintage acoustic alone before I whip her around by her tail (NOTE: I would never harm an animal. Especially not a cat, and especially not MY cat, and especially not MY shoulder cat). But I seem to be getting side tracked as she is contemplating climbing it to get onto the shelves of the corner hutch. I need to get back on track somehow. Summon my inner hop. YYYUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM. Okay, so after a little meditation, I am now focused to where only the threat of the dreaded breaking the seal can stop me. Damn it... Why am I focusing on that now...

After a short bathroom break, I continue on with this review. The aroma of this is faint, as She-Who-Drags-Her-Feet mentioned, so faint to where I cannot pick up notes of really anything. The flavor makes up for the lack of aroma. Caramel tones up front with a nice chaser of grapefruit with some bitter citrus zest. The bitter zest and grapefruit do battle of epic proportions on your taste buds, each having the upper hand, but falling shortly after to the other. Meanwhile, each one is growing weaker as the battle continues, until the flavor fades away and there is no clear winner. 60 IBUs, 6.3% ABV, medium body, smooth mouthfeel with some resiny tones toward the finish.  I think it's slightly better in cans, but at the same point, still a damn good IPA. No idea on the hop strains, as Two Brother's website is rather vague. The Blackhawks have won to tie up the series in an epic game four ending in OT 6-5.


4.6/5 caps

-Nathan-

Rogue Santa's Private Reserve

SANTA ISN'T REAL!!!!

Okay, that out of the way, let's continue on our trek of bringing you humorous and informative reviews on beer (mostly craft, but also broke beers like Olde English, Burger, and Stroh's). By the way, speaking of Burger beer, why is it so damned hard to find? Meijer has a spot for it on the shelves, but never stock it, Kroger has a spot, never stocked, Savor Market carries it, and hopefully it's not sold out. I would like to take this time to publicly raise my personal rating for Burger to 3.5/5 caps (when previously it was rated at 3.3/5 caps). But I seem to be rambling again.

Onto this beer.

Now, why are we reviewing a wintertime seasonal selection in the 90 degree heat of June? Because we haven't reviewed this yet. My first experience with this came in the form of a mixed 6 pack from my brother-from-another-mother as a birthday gift. I recall, from a drunken sleep deprived memory from November, that this wasn't your typical winter brew- that it didn't have the cinnamon and spices that seem to be typically added to winter/Christmas ales. Apparently, this memory was correct as this brew follows the German Purity Law of 1516. Hops, malted grain, water and yeast. Nothing else.

This pours a rich darker amber color, with a small amount of off-white head that dissipates quickly. The aroma is earthy, herbal, malty with some hints of orange and apricot. The flavor is a very earthy and herbal tea like with hints of some spice (clove?). There's not much of a malt tone, just slight hints of biscuit and caramel that hit fast and fade faster. This ends with an earthy tone with a slight bitterness that fades slowly. There are some hints of spice in here, but not powerful, just enough to add to the concoction that is this hoppy red ale. This has a lighter mouthfeel and drinks faster than you'd think. I cannot find a properly documented ABV on this, but the IBUs, according to Rogue's website, is 65.

Worth checking out to entice your taste buds when the colder weather hits, or if you have a bottle around in hot weather, this is equally enjoyable.

4.3/5 caps

-Nathan

Hockey is cold. It's played on ice, it lasts throughout the winter season, and the arena is usually pretty chilly to preserve the playing surface. I think this fits, even though it's still above 80 degrees after midnight in June. Sigh. Ohio. I'm still bitter about missing most of the audio of the game, which was placed on a split screen with the regional radar. We're now nearing the end of the second overtime (and if you aren't familiar with playoff NHL hockey, they play 20-minute periods until someone scores a goal). So these gents have been on the ice for, as of now, almost 100 minutes. It's pretty fucking insane, and one more reason that I believe hockey to be superior to all other sports. Want some proof? Can you chase a puck on skates? Can you do anything on skates? What, no? I've made my point. And don't compare it to figure skating -- there is so much athleticism in hockey.

At least they're only covering the stupid storm during intermissions now, with the scrolling updates running across the top of the screen. So I can watch hockey and drink beer. It's as good a pairing as an IPA and a good, smoky barbecue. Don't question me. I'm pretty surly over StormGate.

Oh wait, there's beer to drink, and incidentally, soothe my soul.

This has had significant time to warm, so I may pick up some different notes than Nathan. I find the aroma bready with a little citrus and caramel and ok, I get the apricot. The flavor is... yummy. Let me take another sip and see if I can pin it down more. I pick up a lot more biscuit and bready tones, with again some orange, and yes, some clove (or perhaps a bite of black pepper). According to BeerAdvocate, it's 6% ABV. As Nathan mentioned, it is very light-bodied and disappearing too quickly for my liking.

This has a familiar flavor to me... but I can't figure out whether I've had this before or whether it's reminiscent of another beer I cannot immediately recall. It's definitely good, and yes, pick some up if you can still find it.

4.2/5 caps

-Jennie

Rogue Yellow Snow IPA

Tonight has been pretty interesting. It's the start of the Stanley Cup finals, game one between the Blackhawks and the Bruins, which just went into overtime. What a great way to start the series! There's also been non-stop coverage of the Storm of the Century since 5:00 this evening... mostly being broadcast over the hockey game. Hockey is way sexier than Jym Ganahl. I would have much rather heard the game than his annoying, mouth-breathing voice for the last several hours. Although it's really hot and humid, and eerily quiet outside right now, so we might be in for something big. So far, everything has gone around us. Before I completely lose it over wanting to watch hockey, I think I'll have a beer. Please.

Every kid has been warned about eating yellow snow. In this case, however, I'm more than happy to drink it. Surprisingly, this is the first Rogue beer we've reviewed. I'm not quite sure why we haven't yet given them the attention they deserve. They're a great brewery out of Oregon (who, I'm sure, was allowed to watch the hockey game in full. No, I'm not as bitter as a great IPA. Not at all). We've enjoyed many of their beers. Just hasn't been on the review list lately, apparently. So let's get to it.

It pours a hazy light orange with a mild white head. The aroma on this is fantastic: pine, citrus, biscuit-y malts, and some faint caramel. The taste is milder than the aroma. It starts off with orange, caramel, bitter hops, and finishes with a faint grapefruit note. It's very well-balanced between the hops and the malts, yet the hop presence doesn't let you forget you're drinking an IPA. It's moderately carbonated, leaving bubbles tickling my throat.

This is a solid offering from Rogue. It's a solid IPA. I love the structure of it and how big the aroma is. I wish it were available year-round, but alas, it's a winter offering. We were fortunate enough to find some on our weekend jaunt to Peoria last weekend.

4.2/5 caps

-Jennie

Looking at our personal list we keep (of all our reviews, in spreadsheet form with a combined rating from both of us), it appears as though this is the first non-collaboration Rouge beer we've reviewed (The collaboration being the North Coast/Deschutes/Rogue Class of '88 Barley Wine). Huh, that's interesting. Rogue is readily available around here and has fantastic offerings (their Voodoo series, their Chipotle Ale, their Chocolate Stout, the list goes on), so I have no idea why we've not reviewed one of their brews as of yet. Maybe we've been hunting the hard to find brews along with a focus on local and regional (but neither being the focus point of these reviews)? Regardless, I'm ignoring the doomsayers on television and taking a break from the 9-8 job (yes, 11 hours) and taking this time to enjoy myself and review beer. Boo work, Hooray beer!

This has had time to warm up while I unwound a bit with a beer shower (yes, I drink beer while taking a shower at night). This pours as Jennie described, with the head still lingering around. The aroma is mostly pine and citrus at this point, little hints of malts, but mostly hop dominance in the aroma. The taste, however, gives different takes from what the aroma leads you to believe. There's orange, caramel, then this muddled happiness of biscuity and earthy tones (malts and hops, respectively). After that, there is a grapefruit zest that punches then fades into a mouth puckering bitterness. A slight resiny mouthfeel toward the back, but a smooth drinking IPA.

 All in all, when available, you should pick this up. If for nothing else, the humorous name is a selling point (although Clown Shoes Brewing's Tramp Stamp also has a great name).

4.3/5 caps

-Nathan-

Founders Devil Dancer

Ah, Devil Dancer. Barely legal in Ohio with your 12% ABV. You who are so tasty with you 112 IBUs and being dry hopped with 10 different varieties of hops (according to Founders' website).

We had this last year at $20ish a 4-pack, ouch. It was worth it last year. Is this year's release worth the $5.49 we spent on this at Broadway Liquor in Pekin, Illinois? (note, we have not seen this in Ohio yet). Yes, I know. I should have poured this into a tulip glass, but at the same point, when you've had 5 different brews tonight (PBR, Flying Dog Citra, Two Brother's Laughing Panda, Deschutes Red Chair, and Deschutes Chainbreaker), I don't really care about how this high test, high IBU nectar of that state up north gets from the bottle into my mouth. It just needs to happen, especially after this weekend.

This aroma is a sucker punch in your face while insulting your favorite family member. Once you get by the potent alcohol aroma, there.... huh.... I think I'm getting a buzz just by smelling this for the aroma... But that aside, once you're past the alcohol aroma, there are notes of caramel, citrus, some faint tropical fruit that at first gets lost then blends with the alcohol vapors. OH LORDY! I'M FEELING THE VAPORS!

The taste is deceptive as hell. It's piney, citrusy, earthy and floral. All the good things you'd expect from using 10 different hops in an IPA. Ah, but here's the catch, there's a heavy malt backbone to this as well, combining caramel and biscuit, but they eventually get overwhelmed with the sheer resinous power of the high alpha acids in the hops. The funny this is, the alcohol bite in this isn't as predominant as you'd think, nay nay. This is like a fantastic Imperial IPA (hence why they call it a Triple IPA). The alcohol is only noticed after drinking it. The hops lend citrus, floral and earthy tones to this in a complete gang bang on your taste buds. Yes, I said gang bang. There's a resiny mouthfeel that's left that would leave the non-hopheads in complete and utter fear and respect of this.

This is good. No, this is damn good! I now turn this over to she-who-has-lady-parts for her portion of the review.

5/5 caps (yes, it's worth $5.50 a 12-ounce bottle)

-Nathan-

You're welcome. We bought this in Illinois, where it was quite abundant, so that we wouldn't trod upon your ability to get some of this nectar of the gods here, because Founders has a cult-like following in Ohio, or so it seems. It's not just here, but I do think that we Central Ohio beer lovers are a tad voracious when it comes to our appetites for all things Founders.

Besides, after news breaking today of growing pains delaying Founders' release of All Day IPA in can format and their introduction to the state of Florida, we figured our friends up north could use a little pick-me-up. We're so glad we had this on hand.

I've had two sips so far, trying to determine if there's anything that Nathan missed. I'm already feeling it. The alcohol bite on the back end is just what the doctor ordered after a rough weekend. It's also a lovely garnet color, with a smallish off-white head that doesn't stick around and leaves lovely alcohol legs on the glass. Other than that, Nathan's description is pretty spot on.

I saw in some review somewhere (ok, fine, it was on RateBeer) that someone thought it reminded him a lot of Stone's Arrogant Bastard. That comment made me want to revisit the good old AB, as last time I had it, it tasted more of old ale than IPA extraordinaire. Have I forgotten how hoppy it is? I have no idea! I need to know! Now! Right now! Right this instant!!!!! But I'm not sober enough to drive to buy some! Damn!!!!!! And this is almost gone, and I want more!!!!!

I'm so glad we picked up some of this... it's another fantastic offering from Founders. They have yet to put out a mediocre beer. It's an early summer seasonal of theirs, so when it comes out here, do yourself a favor and chunk down the $25ish for a 4-pack it's sure to be here. Better yet, for our Illinois friends, Friar Tuck's in Peoria had plenty on hand in 4-pack format, and it was $21.99 for four. It really is worth it.

5/5 caps

-Jennie