This pours as black as my soul, with very little khaki head. The nose on this is lovely: velvety chocolate, rich coffee, a float of vanilla bean. It smells a bit sweet, but not as sweet as the Buffalo Sweat we drank last night. Taking a sip, wow, the aroma is much better. I'm confused. I love (real) vanilla. I love coffee. I love vanilla in my coffee. The first sip tastes much like RC Cola, then it fades to vanilla candles (AKA fake vanilla), a little toffee, and then drying out almost instantly on the tongue. The coffee is really hard to identify. It's sticky sweet like a cola. And the mouthfeel is, you guessed it, very reminiscent of cola. It's beer soda! If Vanilla Coke and a bad porter had a love child, this would be it. Too bad I can't think of any bad porters off the top of my head.
Oh man, I so got Mondayed on this beer! I was so looking forward to it, only to be gravely disappointed. It's not awful. It's just not nearly as good as I thought it was going to be. Monday, I'm now flipping you off.
3.8/5 caps
-Jennie
So, let the record show, I dropped my pants and waddled after the neighbor. That being said, let's review beer.
This pours black. Black as the boxers I was wearing when I was waddling after the neighbor. There's a light khaki head, as previously mentioned by my feminine counterpart. This has dissipated away with time to where it's a distant memory, unlike me waddling after the neighbor. Okay, I think I'm done with that now... Maybe. Anywho, the aroma is sweet. Tones of chocolate, vanilla, cola, and roasted malts intertwine in my olfactory senses like the acid jazz of Miles Davis's "Bitches Brew" attacks the auditory system. Smooth, slightly bizarre, but awesome at the same time. Then we get to the taste. It's like you take a Vanilla Coke and mix it in coffee on the front. Similar to Coca-Cola Black (if anyone remembers that, it was cola and coffee) with a candle-like vanilla flavor added, much like Lady Bligh's Vanilla Rum has that "Oh, Jesus, did I drink rum or a Yankee Candle?" sort of taste. It's not bad if you like artificial flavorings in your beer (in which case, go buy some Wild Blue Blueberry Lager from AB), but not this guy. As I rush to drink this, there's a weirder artificial taste that starts kicking in, like the smell left over on my hands from the water balloon fight yesterday with the neighbors, along with a diet soda like aftertaste from artificial sweeteners. Mouthfeel is like drinking a slightly flat soda.
So, after the Dogfish Sixty-One and this, I'm really hoping the next review astounds me, cause if not, I'm switching to drinking Burger Classic full-time.
3/5 caps
-Nathan
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